Monday, February 28

This world's a sinking ship and our baggage is too heavy.


I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT I AM INCOMPETENT IN ENGLISH AND CHINESE. And especially that Mark Lam beat me in both. ):


I really think 12 is good and happy! I slacked for 1 and a half year and worked my ass off for the rest. So I really believe that 12 is a pretty fair grade. Yayyy! I passed everything except hcl! Er. 4 As, 5 b3s and 1 D7. Yes. But I really dont care. I would rather much spend energy thinking if its AJ, AC, SA or C. AC is really happening (even if mark claims I wont fit in ): ), SA is really friendly, and C is zai in arts. And Anderson, even though its pretty much boring and still, is still quite enjoyable for wierd, unexplainable reasons. ((: So yes, I'm still undecided. More importantly yet, I dont know if it'll be science or arts. I really want to do physics for fun, but I should think its pretty much murder suicide. ):


We had class breakfast and class snack and zies dinner. Of course the Os results was the hot topic whereever. Err.. to all those whom got really 'bad' grades, I'm sorry I was unable to feel your pain seeing that I'm not understanding enough to know why you arent satisfied with whatever you've got.


I'm enjoying Does this look infected! I'm hit by a sudden urge to kope it for myself. By the way, I am fully not intending to stay at home to mop and moan around and waste my free week (finally AJ comes up with something worth boasting about) of holiday so ask me out (especially for marjong) everyone! (:


Por, pam ! its really ok alright? We'll look back and laugh in no time. ((: LOVE!
I mean really, its senseless to be kept up all night feeling all sad and sorry for myself. But at least there are the pal-lies. To all those who tried to calm my nerves down in any way at all (and truely ment it and not just said it cause you had to) , thank you. Its people like you that makes leaving hard.


I'M STRONG. (:

And I so love MAKKA!
DONT WANT DONT WANT DONT WANT!!!

Sunday, February 27

Its those icky waves of emotions again. Its just the feeling of wanting to bawl your eyes out for something I cant quite explain. Or maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of bed.


At least theres Makka outing later, even though the msgs are pouring in, bringing the many "i'm so sorry I cant go later, but good luck for the Os". At very least, they didnt just not turn up. And I can always go fly kite by myself.


All the best for the results tomorrow everyone. Not like its gonna help, but if you do need a shoulder to cry your sorrow or elatedness on, look for me - its probably just the right height too.

Friday, February 25

A mark, a mission, a brand, a scar


Friday was a very nice way to end my very nice visit to AJ.


We got caught for playing cards and ponned Civics and broke like 2891781290218 others rules but I simply dont care. I suppose IF I stay I would get myself into trouble but thats pretty out.


During GP, I talked about my dreams, or at least I would, if I had any concrete ones. And I do realize that I've got nothing to work towards. All I want is to find Michael and be a happy housewife, or alternatively, be a really successful and happy I-dont-kn0w-what-yet. I'm not like Yins, I dont want S papers or a glorious testimonail, I just want to pass my JC, get into something and do whatever. I am basically a rather ambitiouless person. But I really dont find that my life is empty or whatever. My life is a blast , just that its a useless fun shell. :))


Finally, after super duper long, there was the san ba's class outing! (: there was Jac, Jac, Serene, Dar, Chrys, Har, SHAN, Per, Mark, Wee Gin and Me! 10 people was definately better than just me chrys and jac. And we humiliated ourself by taking neos in the typical screaming, screaching and aiyo-my-leg-so-suan fashion. ((: It was still fun anyhows.


Thirty Eight really been so unexpected. For 23 people with so many differences, we are like this crayon box, where there're so many different colours, but yet, manage to colour this amazing picture. Bad imagery, but you get the point. A proper entry for the class soon. :) Perhaps its just the first 3 mths friendship of convenience and we'll never talk again after. But I really hope not. :))

Thursday, February 24

How many wonders can one carvan hold?


I'm loving things the way it is, the occasionally ponning of lessons and bridging in the nexas. The daily ball games and the people I'm getting to love. ((: I suppose coming to AJ was one of the bestest surprise I had in my life.


I have grown to love and learn more about thirty-eight-oh-five. I doubt I'll ever meet and hold such an unbonded group of people so dearly.


Yes, I am irritated with you. If not for the fact that I may never see you again in the near future (Hip hip Hooray), I dont think my tolerance will hold through.

Tuesday, February 22

Theres a place on the corner of cherry street


Well, I've been not as guai recently, and am on the ponning road with not returns. But bidding and trumping is 216983787283 times more fun even though I'm a noob and Harry has announced to the world how much I suck.


Lit project was super unexpected! (: full marks for a noob piece of work. Yea man. I think MsWong was just being nice cause we have her pet student (so he claims) in our group.


Drama night was good. Gao was superb. haha. Hes not all drama for nothing. And FINALLY, Jarguar won SOMETHING! haha. Not that I actually care. And everyone everyone, I beat Mark Lam in basketball! haha. I am super proud of myself. ((:


The pressure of the results are hitting and I'm seriously becoming retarded and reverting back to my old days of slakiness and everything. Its quite bad, I know. Everyone here is going "Are you planning to stay or not" and everyone else replies "If I screw up then I will have to stay". I'm living a lie and am a total misfit. Everyone is aiming for the top 5 and AJ seems like the longgang (i.e. drain) backup place. And seemingly, only I think that coming back to AJ is a feat and highly impossible. (esp so with the white enveloped nie letter) But I dont think its a great deal anymore. Perhaps its the instinctive sour grapes thing, but somehow, I think CJ will be the place for me.


Singpass is rubbish. I wonder which idiot came up with this nonsense just so that it would totally inconvenient us and serve all the careless Sec4s who threw the stupid singpass letter down the chute just right

Sunday, February 20

And as our lives change


Suddenly, it seems that those things which really didnt matter, do. Like the goodnight msgs from my bestie every other night complete with the lets-pon-f&n-plans. Theres 4hope and Mr Gan and Mrs Seah and Mrs B tan , which xiao affectionately calls bren bren, and there was our humanities wall, which I helped just a little, which has been cleared of existance and theres no signs of it ever being there. And theres Xiao and zib and Ru and fellow F9STAR-ers. Theres our many class party which many many jealous souls from other not so happy classes would come over and crash. And our cacooned life in the (Oh no I forgot the name! ):) air-conditioned room just above Father barrae (or however you spell it) where we enjoyed many rounds of pillowfights and the cup noodles and the freezing times and the hidden store. WELFARE! whith her lousy birthday card, and happy wasted ours at the H2H! and heavy-heart, sleepy heads trudges to the oldmans (OMG I FRIGGING MISS THE OLD MAN! ): and I wish he can come back and save my maths) and of course to caltax on the way to pick up my unhealthy dose of caffine. Then there was the antangonizing footdrill sessions and the many happy jnrs and the SQUADMATES! (: and I think if i go bakc to the stjohn room now and see our squadpicture off the wall and in some dustbin, I will seriously cry. I wonder if they threw out every trace of us having ever been in there. ): And surprise surprise, I'm even missing people I'd never thought I would. Like Jessebella. I know shes no longer the Jesse I know, but I still want to know hows shes doing. And Shihui with her big huge chunk of chocolate block ( I think only eiz will understand this). SO MANY SO MANY SO MANY. I want to be back in Stnicks.


I've got plenty of owed stuff. So whats new. I wish I was talented at something.


Oh! I remember the name of the room. Its the language lab!
Think about the love inside the strenght of heart
Think about the hero saving life in the dark.


I suddenly feel like being a firewoman.


My concentration is seriously zero. My self-disipline probably registers a negative count. Music is the bane of my existance but I love it anyway.


Oh yes, for Dar, I must say that LJB isnt that L what.

Saturday, February 19

Then I saw her face


I want friday to be either tomorrow or never. I had this stupid dream that I got 21 points and Mr Gan was going "noa future ger" on me. But it was a really stupid dream cause Harry was in it and he was doing something I cant quite remember. And its making me really paranoid cause I'm naturally born loser. So I guess you'll see me hopping around till I get whatever ridiculous Olevel grade that I totally deserve.


I'm really quite afraid to move on. To go somewhere else only to find I'm the extra piece in the set.

Friday, February 18

I feel so broken up,
I feel like giving up.

Thursday, February 17

Think of me, think of me fondly,
When we say goodbye.
Remember me, once in a while,
Please promise me you'll try
We never said our love was evergreen or as unchanging as the seas
If you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me.


I'm super addicted to think of me but I cant really carry if offf. Daniels been really nice and trying to teach me so I'm quite suspicious of his motive. But he sings in a totally different league from me. ):


Valentines was great! (: My clay pulled through! ahaha! and it wasnt even that bad! ((: and I CAUGHT UP WITH PAM! Yes, I'm still excited at having caught up with my bestie. It was one of the happiest nights in the longest while with the golden pillow, budging tummies and the really cute Sportslink guy who was singgering at the helpless me and por while trying to get soccer shin pads and boots. I think we totally made his Valentines.


And ODAC! I was totally intent on ponning, but thankfully, the nerdy and guai kia side held on. Haha, I'm not telling what was the hilight in the pitching of tents and the lighting of gas lamps and stoves, but if you know me and I like you, I'll probably have gushed it into your eye like 5 million times before.


Soccer was today and boy, I REALLY was going to pon. We were due to have a friendly agst the old j2 team, which apparently, do not have enough people to form a team of 7, so that friendly was actually not that a trashing session. Anyway, the real throw-facer is tomorrow. Please do not come down and watch us get trashed in homeground by a secondary school.

Monday, February 14

Beyond Wonderland


Aside from a large blemish in the form of history, today has been a super blast. I promise I wont leave you out and I'll blog all about my AJ valentines tommorrow cause my eyebags are treatening to spill out and burst. (:


I'm also sorry to all those who wanted to spend Valentines with me but couldnt for the many different reasons. And to those who didnt get a note from me (which would be everyone except Weisheng, Por, Pam, Chrys, Zhi and Jac) and wanted one, please click on the note below.



Strictly territorial issues where security, not ideology was the top priority


Happy Valentines everyone! (: And I wonder if the AC valentines will be able to match up the StNicks one. Something tells me not to hope. ((:


Really, the cold war is nonsense. Its all Stalins fault. Gorbachov shd have been born in 1917 and lived in power all the way till 1991. No communist Russia and no cold war. Wont that be great? Oh but then Germany may have won the WWII. Thats not great. I'm KO-ing just about now as you can tell, and history is my new best friend.


I HAVE A NEW DARLING! HER NAME IS TAN XUAN HONG! ((: There. Happy enough DARLING? ((: I will go towning soon cause I miss you SO much together with the town air. And I need to see ruiwen and lucus and pam's second home.


I also cant wait till 630 tomorrow, after everything horrid has been dealt with and when I see my bestie (well, not the original one haha) again after an antagonizing 34 days of being apart! :D

Sunday, February 13

I'll spin and disappear


I think there are holes in my mouth. Toothpaste been falling out alot recently onto whatever I'm wearing and they're so damn hard to wash out. I wonder why.

Saturday, February 12

Mistake, mistake, mistake


Firstly, I must proclaim I'm still definitely anti-vulgarities. I wonder what I was thinking when I posted the last. Probably nothing. Eyyy, oh well, at least I'm happy now. (:


I'm on a chicken run now! (: CNY has been a blast with the family and the oranges. We used to sit and talk about how when we all grow up, we'll get terraces and bungalows all side by side in a circle with a common area in the middle. We used to pretend paper was rice and strings were noodles. And its only now we realize how much these seemingly retarded things were worth.


Teachers of the supposed top 25% of the corhort should be kinder. Common test and piles of tutorials due on Valentines Day, which happens to be right after the Chinese New Year celebrations are almost certain to force the festive fun out of most of us. Don't they even care? So I'll be spending my Valentines running 3.2, failing history test (the pain is doubled seeing I'm Trevor's damn rep) and trying my best to do a bit of maths to cover up the fact that I haven't dont my maths.


Lit project day is finally today! We dwinded and dwallded and bridged till late. I'm a happy, if not good, bridger! (: Harry showed off his skills on the keyboard, and when he was playing my second favourite song, I fell in love with him for 3 seconds.


Cabbed to and fro to soccer which was surpisingly not that killing. It was really good and I think I learnt about just as much as what I learn in the past 4 trainings. Oh yes, my new eyecandy/partner, Nadu, was super cute and duper nice and I learnt how to head, chest, thigh and lock my ankles from her. (: The trade off in the form of sleep was definitely well worth, as with the $15 cab fare.


Weisheng! No, you're perfectly weisheng-ish. ((: What made you think otherwise? Cause I didn't put this : Smashing Seventeen Wei Da de wei, Sheng Li de Sheng! ((:

Friday, February 11

I wonder why nobody takes me seriously. If you think I dont get hurt or upset, you're wrong. If you think I'm just an asshole whos happy with the dung you shove in my face, just fuck out of my life.

Tuesday, February 8

You've chucked your childhood heros out the door.


CNY in AJ didnt quite make the mark. No, I dont think it was the lack of enthusiasm of the mcs nor the sub-standard performances. I think it was more of the lack of sprit and interest from the people itself. Seemingly, everyone was more interested in somewhere or something else, like breakfast at macs or SJI. Either how, I went back to SN after the rather redundant celebration (which didnt manage to bring out any festive innerself) and even with its horrendous red and yellow buildings spotted with purple windows, I still felt more at home then ever. One minute of chat with mrs tan or whoever made me so much happier. :D I frigging miss everyone back there, from the teachers (including the rude Chenyongming who shoved his palm into our faces) to uncle Mo, to my ex-sec3s and everyone of my level mate. (:


(Yes, and below is my collection of photos taken on CNY. I have decided that Hello is one of the bestest invention)


Por and me then windwhriled our way down to IKEA for last minute Valentines gifts, much at the expense of the rest of the zies, to whom we really offer our most sincere apologies. ): It was a typical besties sort of outing, with not much excitement but plenty of happiness and totally real smiles.


I've just done a reality check and its only 2 weeks more to a new beginning, to which I am undecided if its positive or not. And I promise, from this second on, I will be NICE (yes, Xavier, I seriously mean it) and SHY and DEMURE. Or at least, for the shy and demure part, I'll try my bestest bestest. (:


Though its seeming unreal, Chinese New Year is tomorrow! So Happy Chinese New Year everyone. :D This is my 16th Chinese new year on earth, and sadly, I think its meaning less and less to me. I havent been to Chinatown, and I dont feel the pain. I hate to think of what I'll be wearing tomorrow and I basically dont want to go round hearing all the aunties squaling "ai yah, na me ke ai, jing nian ji shui le ar?" in that tone you use to coax the little ones.


<<< I took this picture in the States and I like it! (:


And, Happy birthday Dar!
Happy belated Doreen !
Happy belated Feng!


My darlings! haha, and the last of my retarded CNY collection. (:

SIHUI! Hah, shes so nice!

RU! Looking prettier then ever!

Looking quite extremely retarded. I super miss my ex-sec3s!

-wriggles wrist to get rid of chalk dust- :D

Again, cause she said she didnt look happy enough. ((:

MRS SEAH! haha. I frigging miss her monsters and happy meters! ):

Closer. And por! Our hair aint that bad! (:

AI WO AI WO SHEN NI GE LA (ie. I love MY SN) !

JINGCHUAN (My award-winning Chem rep!) ! I finally conered her into a picture since like last year? :D

My favourite Por and I making fools out of ourselves in 76.

With stalker, my hair looking suspiciously like I got an electric shock.

THIRTY EIGHT OH FIVE! My favourite class of Feburary 2005! ((:

Monday, February 7

My own epic drama


I'm dreading the release of the results. I dont think I want my facade to crash down on me, and I dont think I want to do more work and play any less. ): Nah, I dont even think I'm playing that much.


3 sure ways to make me disgusted with you
1) Back-stab your friend
2) Slap me
3) Feed me hananese chicken rice


I cant wait for tomorrow! Back to my comfort zone, to my place in the puzzle.


And below is the entire collection of shots taken on marjong day. (: Cherie, I'll hold you to that. We didnt get any shots, but we will soon. ((: I love you plents!


A little dark - me and Na. ((:

I love my little feng!

Me and feng and rinas leg.

and rina got cut off.

Our second MUCH better one ((:

Our first very terrible take.

Sunday, February 6

Grilled shrimp and pepper


Marjong day finally materialized today! (: And it was good, with the taboo and bridge and Marjong (which surprisingly wasnt a big hit seeing how me and feng were too tired to use the intellectual brain cells). Just like the old times laming around, kicking back and not studying for maths. I really do miss the old, unpretentious and happy days.

I am invincible


I am watching Man U vs Bir, and am currently on my new WIRELESS labtop. (: And I quite feel like sleeping now.


I need like a 4 day week. I am seriously time-deprived and will be failing my first test this year on monday. Only this time, theres no pam, qiu or xiao with me. )):


Family day today was steamboaty!

Friday, February 4

I want you and your BEAUTIFUL SOUL


AJ soccer guys beat NY! haha. Yayy. I totally have new people to admire - dragon ball hair and zhenglong -look alike. (: They looked super good trashing the ball about, even when missing headers and lying on the floor breathing in the yellow grass. And I want to look half as good as them. ((:


I am best speaker of today! -cue applause. ((: My drop dead gorgeous Squasher/evaluator was pretty nice. Hahah. Ok lah, shallnt di siao peixin anymore. But yes, I Do love 3805 - Breaking out into oldies in the middle of maths and laughing at the potato head. Class prom sounds duper fun. We should give it a shot and let ourselves become the outcasts of AJ.


Soccer yesterday gave me about 4 bruise on my arm and 1 huge one on my butt. But we're still loving it. I love the team I tell you! And I'll tell Trevor we want more trainings, so we wont get squashed like bugs during the friendly.


I've been doing so much against what I believe in for so long I'm afraid it'll grown on to me.


I need someone to talk to. Someone who would understand, whos not too busy.

Wednesday, February 2

In an entanglement of stars


I love ODAC! haha. Climbing seriously fun even though I'm seriously lousy. But looking at all the zai people makes feel quite happy myself. And basketball after ODAC! haha. We annoyed the guys quite abit with our skills at the orange ball game, or the lack of it but it was still fun. Marvins like so tall and he can jump so high and I think he should not be allowed to jump.


Ted has been my bane of today, and will probably be until after I write the stupid essay on his In the dark Violin on the valley. If you're in the mood to be annoyed and lost and want to be struggling to catch up with his run-on lines, you HAVE to go analyze this piece of intellectual crap. (Please tell me abt your litarary analysis before 9.15am tomorrow)


Peixin! I dont know if you caught me or not, but seriously, I'm quite sure you're one squasher I wont completely forget. (: Really. The friendship of conviences rule doesnt quite apply to ALL. And in you case, Nah! So you can perish the thought of a peaceful van-less life. ((: And leave your blog add the next time you come by!

roses are red

阳光总在风雨后
请相信有彩虹

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