I always whine, complain, ask questions. I'm a camper secretly.
Live! Ops for YI ended today on no particular bang. Military theme is not exactly my thing and rahrah without rahrahing is just off. Haha, I've gotta say I'm impressed by Tongs dedication and heart. Maybe I've done this so many times I forgot what its like to prepare little presents for campers, to want to cry and leave an imprint in them. Maybe now I just take forgranted that its a given and I dont have to make any special effort. But I dont doubt the hearts still there so alls still good.
I love my job really. ((:
I'm busy. Happily so possibly. My schedule is packed to the max. Though I think I might be bitting more than I can chew, I am not willing to let anything go simply because I find this distraction much needed at this point of time for me. Reflection and alone time can wait.
Whatever floats your boat. (: I like to do things that make me happy then. I know I seek instant gratifation which may not be so healthy. But I never have the determination to hold back. If I can't then I must. BAHH, I dont buy that the least. We werent all made to have wills of steel.
I called you today just to hear you say you were not around.
Dearest friends who feel neglected. I never wanted things to be this way. Its been a crazy merrygoround, even if you blame me for getting myself on it, I love you all anyways.
A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look Thousands were listening to the stories of one man He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand
The hours passed so quickly the day turned to night Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had He wasn't sure what good it'd do there were thousands to be fed
But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus the kindness in His smile and the boy cried out with the trust of a child he said:
"Take my five loaves and two fishes Do with it as you will I surrender Take my fears and inhibitions All my burdens, my ambitions You can use it all to feed them all"
I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small and I worry that the work I do means nothing at all
But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands and every door that slams in my face I will offer up in prayer
So I'll give you every breadth that I have Oh Lord, you can work miracles All that you need is my "Amen"
You can use it all I hope it's not too small
You can use it all no gift is too small
Sometimes I think I'm Christian. I have known enough to know He loves me. And I am so grateful that (: Sometimes I worry about the future, I know I shouldnt anymore. (:
I think I've said it before, but giving up and letting go is vastly different. I feel that what I'm doing now is the former.
I don't wanna see anything in your eyes.
Handball/Basketball/random BBQ at Joei's was great great balls (PUN) of fun with 'rugby', childhood, cans of coke, cheese prawns, piggyback race, starlight talk and some of the most amazing girls ever.
My life should be perfect. Except that perfect doesnt exist.
Mamihlapinatapei : 5/19/2008 01:05:00 AM |
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Monday, May 12
I wanna tell you the weather is fine When the night comes around you were on my mind And I wish you were here with me Don't you know
I really miss you.
Mamihlapinatapei : 5/12/2008 12:38:00 AM |
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Thursday, May 8
Everytime I look for you the sun goes down
Last paper at 1 later. Somehow its not worth the hype thats going round. How typically me. I actually feel abit insecure to go to bed after this and wake up only at 11. Its like if I take too much sleep before my last paper, its not allowed. I dont know what logic is that. Anyhows throughout the exam period, I've played marjong, gone for many good dinners, went Kbox, had plenty of sleep, slacked around much, not studied for long periods, took many side-splitting-nonsense photos, had VKbox sessions and seriously enjoyed the care and company of the many people around. It didnt seem that much of a torture. (:
I hope you know that you can always make me smile (:
We all want to be loved I'm sure. It comes in the most amazing forms sometimes.
Mamihlapinatapei : 5/08/2008 05:14:00 AM |
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Tuesday, May 6
Write things on strings
I dont believe that sometimes love just ain't enough. Love is always enough for everything.
Things wont be the same even if you tried.
I always thought I didnt have the perfect family. Now I know I do. I dont need my dad to be richer or softer, my mummy to be less persistant or naggy or my sister to be more guai. Its good the way they are. Amazingly I haven seem to have given them their due credit for a great many years. ):
I think that if you're upset for very long you tend to forget you're upset. You get used to the whole idea and just accept being upset as normal. Thats not exactly a bad thing.
Despite staying up the whole night with Grace yesterday I still have not finished the first text for my TS paper on Thurs. More accurately I'm only halfway though. Something in me just seems to tell me that I sleep very little. But the truth is I really slept something like 10 hours yesterday/tdy. Something hints that I'll be spotted rushing through it on Wed night again. And I say prematurely I completely deserve it. hahah
I dont know why I'm saying this before my TS exams, but I really liked the whole MKT experience. I know so much more abt Coca Cola, Frito Lay and Volvo now! (: hahah, I remember going for marketing and being on a high! It was one of my favourite modules (not that I've taken that many anyway) and even taking the exams for it was so funny. :D
My family is the best family I could ever ever want. Ever.
I'm really happy that Ching came over and talked to me till late. Its nice to know we're not in this alone and theres a good someone waiting to be looked for. She even made my room seem cooler.
The past few days have been happy. (:
But now I'm abit scared of the false feeling of loneliness.
Mamihlapinatapei : 5/03/2008 05:24:00 AM |
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Thursday, May 1
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
1 John 4:18
Last night was proof that everything that didnt change, changed.
Then this morning, I had the most disappointing dream ever. In my dream, I knew i was dreaming, so I kept expecting the perfect ending. It was somewhat a happy dream. Just that right at the end, I was let down by this person I know in life.
I think it indicates that all along, I've been expecting said person to let me down. Which is kind of sad isnt it, for the both of us. To have hopes in person only to know at the back of your mind that this person will eventually let you down.
Fredflare is the best invention of today. Or more accurately, its a set up. Or retailer. Ecommerce retailer. Marketing channel.
Yesterday, Por called to say shes coming to FASS. I think she will improve my NUS life by about 700%.
