Saturday, July 18
magnificient mobiles!I think too highly of myself sometimes. The
spotlight effect hits me hard.
Then again, what happened to "I will not look to my own strength"?
Church was so good today, made better by the two person I so loved flanking me.
Faith, is trusting that somehow, my visa will appear soon (:
Labels: stargazing, YOU (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 7/18/2009 12:51:00 PM
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Monday, July 13
My Abba, My Father,
You'll love me forever,My futures secure in Your hands.I guess if we go by faith, there really isn't much that can unsettle Christians. Not when God has so much love for us. What can go wrong really? :D I need to stop trying to understand everything and just bask in His love manifested through so much around me.
Hip hip hooray, I almost didn't think of you today! :)
I mean to blog about more but time is of the essense here when I need to wake at 6ish tmr if I dont want to be late for Oweek precamp followed by Soci Camp. This means that Van will very possibly be sleep deprived for the next few days as well as housingless for exchange.
I do miss the handball passion and friends very much. ):
Labels: everyday nonsense, handball, stargazing, YOU (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 7/13/2009 01:20:00 AM
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Sunday, July 12
Like a falling star, I fell for you.I realize, with a startle, that I had to remember you today. This can only be good news. (:
With
Qiu, its always fun and funny and random and I can tell her all the highly
embarrassing things I've done with no shame. Its what I love so much about her. Made the gloomy date all brighter.
Rugby puts me in a limbo- there are too many decisions to make in too little time. I hate it that someone has to cover my ground for me too. I could rest in the fact that this is my first 15 games. But I prefer solutions to excuses.
I wish I had sharper tackles. Maybe I could practise it on the next person who blocks my emergency enterence to the MRT. I find that so highly annoying. Almost as annoying as the fact that our coutersy ambassordor is Phua Chu Kang. Seriously, Singaporeans, we need something that resembles taste.
New Creation cell group orientation was good - how could it not be when You are my Abba my God! No really, I was afraid of being a misfit or like alone, but then I was silly to recognize I'm never alone - in the non-creapy sense of course. :)
Labels: love you, rugby, stargazing, YOU (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 7/12/2009 01:53:00 AM
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Saturday, July 11
You had me at "hello".
Labels: stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 7/11/2009 01:39:00 AM
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I hate it when people talk over you, we're all guilty of that.
And I don't like it when people look over your shoulder to see what you're reading/typing/playing. I'm definately guilty of that- especially when the latest scandal appear on Lian He Wan Bao.
So what really makes me happy?
Ruck it.
Labels: everyday nonsense, rugby
Mamihlapinatapei : 7/11/2009 01:14:00 AM
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Friday, July 10
Maybe I didnt treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didnt love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
Maybe I didnt hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
Im so happy that you're mine
If I make you feel second best
Girl, Im sorry I was blind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind-Elvis Presley Simplicity isn't simple at all.
I'm better than this. So are you. Ironically.
Meeting with Lawrenz went well, or at least, seemed to have went well. Xy's low cut purple top did the trick beautifully.
Labels: rugby, stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 7/10/2009 01:19:00 AM
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Thursday, July 9
I still check my missed calls list to see if you ever called and I just didnt get it.
Labels: stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 7/09/2009 03:47:00 AM
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I'm gonna be a mighty king, so enemies beware.
A cup of hot/cold chocolate at Caramel Cafe with my Qiuqiu baby was all I needed to feel real again.
Hopefully Lawrenz meeting tmr will get another something done and then there'll be one less thing off my 789-items-long to-do list.
You wear me out, you do you know. Each time you bring it in on your terms, I hate myself for letting you. Then I go through the whole process of watching your retreating back.
All my 'problems' arent really problems at all. Its just that I'm so cooped up in my little world I forget to keep my eyes on the prize. hahah. Okay 3am ramblings speak the need for sleep. Who do you know sleep more during school term then the holidays. Its only me! (I'm so egocentric)
I need to be a better hooker. Spin ball, spin!
Labels: everyday nonsense, love you
Mamihlapinatapei : 7/09/2009 02:49:00 AM
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Monday, July 6
I can't tell you how I feel, but Paul Goldin sure canYou feel that everything is going against you and you are worn out and exhausted by all the conflict and quarrelling. You are trying to protect yourself but at the same time you are hiding your feelings, hoping that by so doing, you can avoid exposing yourself to attack. Hopefully this will give you the chance to get on with your life. Nevertheless, you should be very careful to try to avoid stirring up any opposition which might endanger your plans.
You are lazy - you dream of a peaceful, calm, uncluttered and uncomplicated life. Your ideal would be to share a permanent base with some person or persons who would be able to demonstrate on-going love, peace and security.
In spite of the fact that you believe that your hopes and ideas are realistic, it is hard for you to accept that your needs and desires are misunderstood by almost everyone within your sphere of influenceand there is no-one to turn to or rely on. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you will have to make the best of things as they are.
The unwanted situation in which you presently find yourself is causing you considerable stress and frustration and your feeling is that whatever you try to do to remedy this is to no avail. You feel trapped. You want to get away from it all as you feel that you are banging your head against a brick wall getting nowhere. You have turned your aggression inwards and you are furious with yourself for not being able to achieve your goals. You need to go away, somewhere where there are less restrictions and where you can be free to make your own decisions.
You feel worn out - you have no energy and your depleted vitality has created intolerance for any further stimulation. You feel inadequate and this subjects you to agitation, irritation and acute distress from which you try to escape by refusing further direct participation. You have become very wary and cautious but you have an inner strength. You have that determination to get your own way and succeed in the end.
-Paul Goldin My situation is such that I spend this time that I really need to sleep doing this. What am I doing really with my life. I do need a good cry, and I can only think of one person whom I wish was here. Unfortunately, hes going to be in reservice for a good 2 weeks, so I'll hold the waterworks for a bit.
Nothing releases inner tension like a good sobbing session not even rugby. Which is no wonder, seeing that I receive, not do, most of the smashing.
Labels: stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 7/06/2009 01:27:00 AM
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SoupaholicIts always between honesty and nothing. Pretending wastes too much energy on people you
don't care about, so why? On this grain of logic, I sometimes say things people deem to be hurtful or mean. Oh sure, make everyone responsible for your delicate emotional balance.
That didn't quite come out right. Whats new.
What I really wanted to say was, I miss you, fustratingly and annoyingly enough.
And if you
reciprocated with complete honestly, I would get nothing.
Get me a matchmaker if you will, or you can skip the trouble and get me a son. I need someone to replace the void Songha left.
Labels: expedition, stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 7/06/2009 12:52:00 AM
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Sunday, July 5
My hope is in You,Secure I stand.New Creation has opened up a whole new world for me and I, classically enough, believe that I am now a new creation in Christ. I am not of the
understanding why some Christians don't think its appropriate to talk about
Christianity in front of non-believers. After all, if this makes me happy, even if you're not on the same platform as me, shouldn't you be glad for me? Anyway, I hardly care, man's judgements are much much overly rated.
Labels: YOU (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 7/05/2009 10:11:00 PM
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Heroes and Heartbreaks
When we took all the beauty for granted, even cursed at the red and white stripes as we struggled against all the latic acid in our legs. But truely, its beautiful, when you're not panting your heart out.
Its nothing new, but I've been busy. And by that I mean trainings every night except for Sunday trainings which are now in the late afternoon. Cushioned by driving, facials, dental, etc, it is of little wonder why ALL my friends screm neglect. Which is wrong. Cause I cant be neglecting everyone and still feel so tired all the time due to lack of one of my strongest piriority in life- sleep.
Yesterday, I dreamt about Gracies green stripped slippers. I wonder what happy thoughts today's dreams hold for me. (:
Your words are so cheap I think you should pay me to listen.
Labels: NUS, stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 7/05/2009 11:19:00 AM
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You had me at "hello".
