Wednesday, April 30
If I'm not mistaken, I think this is the first time I'm just a little scared.
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/30/2008 09:42:00 PM
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The Happiness of a FishZhuangzi and Huizi were strolling along the dam of the Hao Waterfall when Zhuangzi said, "See how the minnows come out and dart around where they please! That's what fish really enjoy!"
Huizi said, "You're not a fish — how do you know what fish enjoy?"
Zhuangzi said, "You're not I, so how do you know I don't know what fish enjoy?"
Huizi said, "I'm not you, so I certainly don't know what you know. On the other hand, you're certainly not a fish — so that still proves you don't know what fish enjoy!"
Zhuangzi said, "Let's go back to your original question, please. You asked me how I know what fish enjoy — so you already knew I knew it when you asked the question. I know it by standing here beside the Hao." (17, tr. Watson 1968:188-9)
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I dont mind missing talking to you and being with you and laughing with you and doing anything and everything to do with you. Those were muchly happy,worthy times. I just hope I dont miss you.
I'm just so tired,Wont you sing me to sleep?Labels: Philo
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/30/2008 02:24:00 AM
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Tuesday, April 29
If you're all alone, when the pretty birds have flownYesternight (why must it always be yesterday?), was such a happy and happening affair. Kaihui and I and Sharon and rachel and random people from here and there had such amazing VKbox session hahahhaha cheap but damn happy thrill okay! We took like boyband wanna-be pictures which I will upload cause they were so happy and funny. I actually dont remember laughing so hard in a long long time!
No, that does not mean I'm upset, it just means I was extremely happy yesterday. :D Even while 'studying' at the feet-smell-like lounge all the way to 8 today.
Happy is such an all-encompassing word by the way.
I am officially the worlds greatest doufu cause I didnt know that the philo paper today is open book, to think I tried to cram random quotes like " The common people can be made to follow it, but they cannot made to understand it". When the guy next to me whipped out his many random books of Dao, I wanted to cry. But it was abit funny at the same time. Anyhows, I shall leave is as its over. And that
jian ai is impossible. But then, nothing is impossible with God. Erm okay, I was gonna leave it.
I think I'm beginning to understand what this is all about. If I have to share you with memories or otherwise, I think I wont have you at all. There really is hardly a point in keeping someone without a heart. Sometimes, its not about what I want. (But then again, now I want to give you up, so isnt it still about what I want? Okay, I gotta stop philo-ing)
Por messaged to tell me she dreamt of me, and I know she loves me so ((:
Labels: NUS, stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/29/2008 03:45:00 PM
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Monday, April 28
BECAUSE JY KNOWS.
I'm dedicating this post to Ben because hes an awesome friend, amazing listener, knowledgeable, best SSB studying partner who reads the randomness readings that we didnt even use haha, funny about everything, taught me how to play
Kiss Me, can somehow just calm me down, is one of the best positive influence I have in my life, and is muchly appreciated for just being him.
Okay this outburst is due to him having made today the best examination day of my life with his blinding sunshin-ess. I slept for about 1 hour, but he really woke me up when he came by in the morning and dominated the bus. hahah Or perhaps it was the influence of the Coke.
I'm even tagging this post under Ben hahahahhahaha
Labels: BEN
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/28/2008 07:42:00 PM
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Sunday, April 27
It came out wrong didnt it?
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/27/2008 02:30:00 AM
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Saturday, April 26
You've been a part of me so long
Just not the part that made me strong.
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/26/2008 04:59:00 PM
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Cant break free from the things that you do.Qiaozhi told me that 2 years later I'll look back on myself and feel very childish.
I suppose. I dont suppose two years will go by unnoticed. I always thought that you see things the way you do now even just three days later, it has been a waste of three days.
I just hope two years can accelerate such that the day is tomorrow. Sometimes, I annoy myself with me.
Labels: stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/26/2008 01:10:00 AM
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Friday, April 25
Watch the fireflies dance.Yaohui's guitar is kind of like my new love. Haha, I'm no good at strumming or chord-ing, but I'll work it out somehow haha. I kind of regret not letting Daryl teach me the guitar. Although it is also ruining my smooth-toufu fingers (with about toufu like strength to match).
As we can tell, studying is the first thing on my mind but the last thing I seem to be doing.
Acting practical went, well, surprisingly good today so three cheers to us and hopefully, the theory to match will be awesome too. And the rest of the exams. I think marketing and Philo is gonna prove a great challenge. I use the word think because I haven exactly got round to erm, looking at it in closer detail.
I knocked my eye on Qiaozhi's keyboard a few days back so I have 1 black eye now. Thanks to the many concerned friends though. Its just abit distracting cause the black spots are scaring me abit so I cant focus on SSB. But then, maybe its SSB.
Flies are dropping dead in my room at a rate of 2 per second.
Labels: NUS, stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/25/2008 09:51:00 PM
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Thursday, April 24
Is it happier to leave you be?
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/24/2008 09:15:00 PM
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Tuesday, April 22
No matter what the world may say about me I know your love will always see me through And I love you for the way you never doubt me But most of all I love you cause you're youI feel that righteousness isnt really righteousness if it doesnt come from the heart. Or in simplest terms, if you choose not to steal because people are watching, it is really not the same as choosing not to steal because you just dont want to.
On that line, I feel that selfish thoughts not translated into actions are selfish thoughts nonetheless and shouldnt just be dismissed as nothing. Maybe I'm just not a selfless or loving enough person. I'm okay with people being like me. But somehow I'm not okay with me.
I need some module on self-awareness please.
Studying in the library isnt much of studying. At least I finished my long overdue blogpost. Though its more like 616 words worth of ramblings about
Xunzi.
You know everything lecturers say something about plagiarisms I get just a little scared. Which is retarded seeing how I couldnt possibly plagiarize since I never ever do research and the amount of readings I did this sem comes up to a grand total of 3.
I THINK QIUS THE BEST. AND KAIHUI. AND BEN. AND SHARON.AND POR. And others of course. But thats for another day. Qiu and Ben just killed me with trying to hold in laughter in the library (I kind of failed) and Kaihui is just so sweet such that I love her for a hundred thousand reasons.
This is my new favourite song. Its so sweet its impossible. I'll even marry piakpiak for it HAHAHA. Ben and I were discussing about it and he was saying how its not really feasible cause you really just love the perception you have of the certain someone. What if one day you realized that hes not really who he is and is like some mass murderer or something?
Then I argued by saying thats what made the song sweet. For example if I loved Ben because hes kind or some other love-worthy trait, what if one day he stops being kind or loses said love-worthy trait? Do I still love him then? But if I love Ben because hes Ben, I wont ever stop loving him cause he can never stop being him. (:
He concurred. So I was extra convinced of the sweetness of the song. ((: But maybe cause he wanted to start work on Econs.
Labels: NUS, stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/22/2008 12:16:00 AM
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Thursday, April 17
Dreams, are my reality.hahha, and I dreamt of puking on XY recently. And the split second it happened, I knew I majorly lao-nua-ed in my dreams.
This sem is very tricky. So many things on my mind, so many things to be grateful for. But I dont feel the studying thing at all. Exams are in barely 1 week, but I dont even feel like the many textbooks and unprinted notes mean a thing. I think I could be a cloud, I hardly contribute to anything anyway. I might as well float around and entertain those who care. Hahha, I really miss just looking at clouds trying to see what they look like. I tried the other day, and it took me so long to convince myself it looked like Snoopy. I remember as a kid I took about 3 secs.
I'm really very very okay, I think about stuff occasionally, but it never never gets me down I think. But I hate making people upset, I dont think I'm a perfect, altruistic person, nope. I often have much scary thoughts that scare me. I dont translate these thoughts into actions, but I know they are as real as day.
Then again, Descartes would say how would I know anything. Slap Descartes, its not like his 'realization' that 'I think, therefore I am' changed the world. Before and after reading him, I still have to face the challenges of everyday and just being me.
I really really want to know how to believe, I dont quite understand how the whole deal works, but it really gives me much much comfort. But I'm also scared its because I need an anchor point, or that it doesnt really come from the heart. I dont know, I'll figure it out.
Maybe thats why the long jogs are so popular as of late. (:
Labels: stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/17/2008 10:24:00 PM
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Sunday, April 13
I must be crazy for feeling blue.But my hearts lately has been untrue,I must be crazy, crazy, crazy, For leaving you.My opinions scares me sometimes. I dont mean to be opinionated. I wont deny I am, but I never expect anyone to follow whatever I may think or whatever I want to do. In that sense I guess i'm sufficiently independant.
But sometimes I wonder if I'm really different. Or just made out to be.
NO MORE EMO TALK! watch out world, I'm gonna be so happy always! (:
Labels: HAPPY
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/13/2008 07:54:00 AM
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Sunday, April 6
Hello friend, it's me again
I just called to tell you
Even though I miss you so
I've been thinking of youHello you!
Sometimes I feel like my life is in perfect control - thats boring. Otherwise I feel lost and alone. Its always hard to be me! hahah
But whats always constant for me is that i know that nothing ever happens the way I envision it to be. Never, never ever.
So if I had a wish come true
I'd spend the perfect Christmas with youLabels: stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/06/2008 12:40:00 AM
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