Saturday, February 23
So close to feeling aliveEverytime I hear Mariah Carey's Hero I just have this overwhelming thing to cry. Whether its the reminder of the camp days, the sheer strength of words or just the memories attached to it, it just holds this power. Okay I 'm officially a doufoo.
Sometimes I feel that people all just want something from me. Thats okay. I feel worst when I think people dont want anything from me and just wanted me to go away. Thats just sad.
Today made me feel like I dont mind alone. Its like what Ching says i guess, to wanna be alone but to feel the need to be around people.
I tried the whole day to do up my philo, but failed miserably due to the attraction of nothingness. Hahaha. I'm into my 30th hour overdue and I'm acting like it doesnt matter. I think my acting is getting better, cause I'm starting to convince myself too.
I miss being around things and people I know.
Labels: Baybehs, NUS, stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/23/2008 11:40:00 PM
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Van is really really such a wreak.
Labels: stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/23/2008 06:08:00 PM
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Wednesday, February 20
You showed me heaven then you took it away girl, I miss you more than words can sayYou know how sometimes happy things stay around too long and they just turn into sad things because you're reminded of the happy things that are no longer there. Or worst, transformed into sad things.
Sadly, people usually pay more attention when you're upset vs when you're happy. Makes sense really cause upset people need to be nursed back to peacefulness while happy people can just be left alone. Thats why I think that people are conditioned to talk about upsetting stuff rather than exclaiming about how good their day was. Think about it, how much are you affected by a good day verses a bad one?
(removed)
I shamefully admit that I'm happy when I'm with him because its peaceful. But recently I've come to terms that its peaceful only because he doesnt care (or at least thats what it seems like to me). Somehow, I dont have to think about my problem and I get to enter this world of him, his thoughts and his ideas. My world gets momentary sidelined.
I guess I'm grateful for him letting me enjoy this solace, but sometimes when I'm being difficult I just feel kind of forgotten.
And once again, I've achieved this stalemate and this inconclusive conclusion. hahah. Maybe i'll just say goodnight with a unrelated quote : It is not the failure of others to appreciate your abilities that should trouble you, rather, your failure to appreciate theirs
Labels: Baybehs, stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/20/2008 04:20:00 AM
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