Saturday, April 30

ai wo bie zou :D


hah, I suddenly got into Chinese pop. Like the real cheesy kind which goes on forever about how much you love me and I love you. Its never really like that.


AJ Idol was alright I guess. I do really think LJB did really well! DARYL! You looked every bit like a rocker! *Screans, cheers and raises my hand for you to smack* Cheers alright! And at the next performace you'd better get round to throwing me your autographed guitar pick (even if I'm sitting on the balcony) I'm crossing my fingers for you zen touch. :) Rara was an absolute bomb with the vavaboom hair! Hair had his own cheerleaders and his voice was WOAH. So really, I thought they were really good. ((:


Some people were being rude (or I suppose they thought it was plain funny. It sorta was for awhile) and some people were making the place so much happier and better just by their mere presence. :D Manager was the loudest I'm ever seen him but it still seems like the guys havent bounced back fully. I didnt mean to throw the lightstick in boons eye and disfigure his nose, really. The paper airplanes was darn kiddish and noob and I really wished Jac stayed. I had fun though. Haha, but it wasnt so much cause of the performace.


THIRTYEIGHT came back tonight! So we werent in full force, but the long (and as usual, snail slow) walk to kfc under the moon was totally happy and warm. I miss them all so much. Even the AJCians. Daniel being ultraly mean, Gingin being cheekopei-ish, Shan the nicey, Xavier the I-love-myself, Rong the MAN, Daph Ms Shy and Demure, Eileen with the giggle under the breath, Mark with his dwindling sense of humor and Me oh shy and demure! ((: The thirtyeight spirit was with us! :D Its just this happy, homey feeling and this atmosphere which allows me to sing in the terrible off pitched tune without caring if I getting laughed at because I know that they'll still love me for me. :D I LOVE 38!


Kayaking, soccer and Mikes farewell all tomorrow. Freak. I doubt I'll make it through the whole day. Then again, its all stuff I enjoy, so its really my own fault.

Thursday, April 28

Everything's small on the ground below, down below


AJ sports day aint half as good as St Nicks. The opening was dumb and the MCs were trying really hard (and failing of course) to squeeze out some school spirit out of us. I thought the best thing about the whole thing was the overdose of eyecandies (AIEE! :D) and Wong Ci winning and getting near to * ((: And woah, Sheila and Liangpei were like super hot and it was really hard not to laugh at the guys looking gay.


Today was supposed to be a great day. Until the series of unfortunate events hit. Shallnt say more, but one of those is that the volleyballers lost. Must be tough losing and knowing that the whole school was waiting to go down to the finals to cheer them on. :( But really, even though I guess there goes the plan to cheer Chengyao on like his greatest fan, its really OK. We'll be there next year so really, its alright for us. Most importantly, I really hope they (ok, maybe just Chengyao cause hes the cutest guy in AJVB) wont pull out their hair and all. Chengyao is really strong, but I guess this must hurt him hard. :( Take care mortal.


I'm really thankful for people who love me even though I have no clue why. Its cause of people like them I'm sane , happy and well. I love you all oh so much. At the risk of sounding trite, really, I wouldnt be anywhere without you.


Its the feeling when you want to give someone a hug and slap him/her at the same time.


Oh I really hate bengs. So if you sprout on and on in hokien, sit with your legs up to your head, wear tight tight no fear shirts, use pointy orange combs, gel your hair using 1/2 the tube thinking you look so freaking darn cool and squeal in that high pitched highly irritating real/false voice, you know why I'm glaring at you.


LJB has to win tomorrow! cause my eviler twin, mao mao, rara, amos, nickolas ( :/ ) and willian is in it! I cant wait to see thirtyeight back!!

Wednesday, April 27

I'm SUPER DUPER happy! Ask me ask me! haha You know how useless online diaries can be. (:


I love Wednesdays cause they're happy and short and nice and fun. ((: And theres ODAC!


Defeats are hard to swallow. I hate them so SO much. ): but I hate it even more when you cant do anything to help.


We were quite a let down at ODAC today because of the poor attandace and the latecoming and all. Thus, we were awarded our first ever Mr Lim talk. Boon asked me twice why I joined ODAC. I couldnt quite answer. And throughout the whole talk thinggy I was thinking really hard. Why not PS or visuals? ODAC aint gonna give me a fantastic testimonial but yet the time and effort put in is so much more. hah. I couldnt come up with any wise answer. But I am rather inspired at all the cool stuff my snr did and I know I wanna be just like them. ((:


I keep alot of stuff at home. I have like 90% of all the letters I received in secondary school, 1 whole drawer full of Vday gifts, all my Sj stuff (including every single camp booklet I've ever received), bags after bags of gifts I've collected so far, the roses I've received this valentine, ... All these things mean so much. It like memories in the physical form. I hate people to take them away from me. Even the two friction-less, semi-black, and utterly spoit slippers of mine.

Tuesday, April 26

Life in the fast lane


Was going through a rather rough period in school today. I really hate the way I'm so petty, unsymphatatic, unfeeling and dead mean. I simply cant help but feel irritated towards some things and some people. Perhaps its PMS (nah, its just a very convenient excuse) but I somehow feel that the spark of optimism in me is wavering. No matter, I'll be back happier than ever! (: Harry, Dar, Cleavon and all the other i'm-feeling-all-sad-and-sorry-for-myself people, let not let whatever bring us down! :D


A lesser person would have cracked under all this pressure. But I'm not. :D


Congrats to Chengyao cause he beat HC for us! ((: And Marks gonna beat whoever hes meeting tomorrow.


Soccer totally made my day. We all know why. :D I know they're in the dumps after the loss, (I've never seen zhong or boon any sadder), but really, coming down anyway was really a very nice move. (: Its just this comforting pyschological effect that as lousy as we are, we have seniors who are willing to associate themselves with us, and that one day someday, we'll all be 1/10 as good as them (lets just be realistic.) So anyway now I'm really happy and I really really REALLY hope we'll find all the members that we need.

Monday, April 25

You turn me inside out.


Nice stuff that happened recently
1) Taiyong volunteering to help me carry that super heavy kayak back to the club even though he's already bathed and dry (even if he did insult my qualifications as a 1 star kayaker)
2) Cleavon going to town even though he knew I may PS him (which of course I didn
3) Myra messaging about my OTC exam even though I bet she barely had a clue what went on
4) People caring about each other
5) Nice taggers
6) Cheekai and xun xun mam who believes in me
7) Charles for taking care of me
8) Passing my MOI
9) ODACian's growing bond
10) OTC COURSE IS OVER!


Then there are the stuff to be upset about. You know, the usual teenage girl problems, the upset friends ( :(( ), the missing of how it used to be, the lethargy, the constant need to prop up this oh-so-happy-and-energetic appearence when all I want to do is to lie down and die, the backwardness of my schoolwork (which really is my fault), the soccer teams (I'm quite afraid we wont have enough members, and I really really am praying that the guys make it through) , the wanting to but inability to commit myself to stjohns, the dwindling relations, the committment to ODAC (this is also good at the same time), the realization that I may not live up to everyones standard.


But otherwise, Lifes been fine. (I'm just putting this here so that I can go on 'being happy'. )



Why cant we all be ultra smart, have our perfect prince charmings / princess Cordilia, and live happily ever after? I really want all of us to be whole again.


Remember when you was a kid at some crummy old kindergarden? Everyday you'll wait for your mummy to come and pick you up. And sometimes you just watch other kids get picked up one by one and you come to realize that you're the only one left behind. Lost, alone and haiya I cant quite place it in words, but you get the point. Thats how I feel alot these days.


How much do you know about me , really?

Sunday, April 24

Here, a little jealousy,
for you to waste on me.


I'm a very sad and tired girl. I know how much my theory and MOI will suck tomorrow. I'm dead tired after kayaking on choppy waves and capsizing 27192083902109 and rescuing 280179018902 times. Had to drag myself out of bed at 230 and am dying. I know I aint making sense. but really all I want to do now is to sleep for 1 week or so. I can hardly wait for OTC to be over, over, OVER! and buddy! I swear I wasnt refering to you! (: You did good, no need to apologize to me for nothing yah?


ARGH.


ODAC rocks. ((: was pretty fun even with the face burn and rather disjointed elbow.

Saturday, April 23

I havent had time to look back and cry.


This week has been crazy with work flying all over the place, econs increasingly accelerating the land of greek, the piling up on the I-will-read and I-must-read texts, the desperate lack of sleep, the getting to know more about the 35s (jocelyn is really very nice!), the many 'class days' the random niceys happening here and there (:D), the happy wins of the guys (We, or rather, they beat YJ !), the gulling of Sir Andrew and the need to study for otc getting REALLY urgent. Yah, but theres pleasure in the pain if you get what I mean. (:


A team without skill, committment, attitude and determination cant be very much of a team. Man, I do miss Kasim.


As much as I hate it, I need constant reality checks.


I spent forever making a compact stove for ODAC yesterday and breathed in about 4 years worth of carbon monoxide.


Its my qius birthday today! Happy birthday xiao qiu! (:

p/s. it QING, not jing lah cheekai. ((:

Thursday, April 21

Flying Fork


The Taggers are starting to amuse me. :D


I really am starting to get irritated by the various imcompetent people surrounding me. One good example with be a certain group of OCTs. I'm not claiming to be the most capable of the lot, but at least I dont need 4 people in my committee and still not realize that I dont have ANYTHING.


Happy birthday CAPTAIN! (:

Monday, April 18

I'm driving too fast , I'm driving too far


We had our first thirtyfive outing to (where else?) J8 today and took our first squeezy tiny winny class neos. ((: I cant believe Cleavon has no idea what instant prints and takopachi are.


The guys won! Zhong and dont know who scored 4 to 1 ! Whee! Was rather happy till I found out that TJ was supposedly the lousiest of the lot. Okayyy. They'll beat the rest anyway. ((:


I think the zone made a really dumb mistake about the results are all. But we'll take it in our stride. It'll only make us stronger. (: SNSJ all the way! To the you-know-whos on my tagboard. Please just get lost cause I really dont care. All you did was just to show me all those ppl who care about me. Thanks guys I love you plents. I dont give a damn if you think I'm a slut or whatever, cause obviously, you dont know me, so stop judging me. For the record, I'm currently holding the OCT rank. Please also stop insulting people whom you dont know and impersonating others. I believe I have been civil enough. Hating me wont get you anywhere, neither will telling me you hate me.


I just realize I have not one but TWO wierdos in my life. :/


I have a BEAUTIFUL new bag. Its beautiful and its new. :D


Finally, hair turns 17 today. How very sad. :)

Sunday, April 17

Fel, The Kenya Dance. says:
honestly im boiling inside lah
Fel, The Kenya Dance. says:
once you find out who she is, must tell me, i wna see how a piece of despicable shit looks like

Hahah. My Xiao Feng is the best! (: Thanks everyone. And Cheekai has successfully convinced me that snjs aint really from snsj. I hope so too. ((:

Oh please please please let the guys win tomorrow. I really wanna see them (-ahem ahem actually) play at least once! So they've gotta stay on! :D And its our manager's birthday today! Happy happy 18th MANAGER!

In case you were wondering, the previous post is for someone who means alot to me and not to some loser on my tagboard. And this post is for someone(s) who ment alot to me and who still does, but who probably will not once I know who you are. So since you hate me, you might as well tell me who you are so I can just blot you out of my life.


I think both snjs and sidekick are the same person. I refuse to believe I have 2 such immature juniors. Hate me if you want to. Substantiate it with better reasons other than just because I was talking to my friends.

DO NOT INSULT HARRY. Who are you to deem who he is when you dont know him? He doesnt have to see or be told about whatever I did or didnt do and just believes me. You are some funny I dont-know-who who laughs at your own unfunny insults and who disgraces the name of SNSJ.
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things, crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong


I need you,
Need you back in my life.
now you want it back


Zone com was yesterday. I was the official, but seemingly my most important duty was bringing the teams to the toilet. :/ I have decided that my CS skills are inborn and I think I did ok! (: Cheers to Angel, Anna, Phil and Susu for doing the touch-ups. ((: I was the emcee again and we didnt do too good, but Fabian's exciting animation really threw me and qiu WAYYYYY off course. haha. This is really the first time I've come to know the emcee for a presentation not knowing the results.


I didnt really get to see much of the SN team, but I KNOW for sure that they tried and thats really enough for me. I'm happy about that. (How ironic, seeing how I bawled my eyes out last year) But we can do better, we always can. (quoted from Mark). Congrats to 1, 5 and 6. Its alright really, the trophy doesnt show anything for your dedication and stuff. (:


I also caught up with the Nco, zone and SQUAD people which was real nice. (: I haven seen Feng and Che and Na in AGES! We sat around and yaked rubbish just like the old days and I cant wait for our next Marjong session! :D Zhenglong dropped his cool facade and waved for the first time and hes really a very nice guy with his very cute voice. (:


When the whole thing was over, I felt for the first time in the longest time, the enimity with Peirce. I know it isnt me, I dont dislike Peirce the slightest, but knowing that such bad air was around sucks. I'm just real glad Zhenglong and Xuanhong didnt waver. :D Oh but I do think the contempt towards the All Stars team was rather uncalled for - its not their fault no other school was able to produce a AA team. So let applaude their courage and hope that Aristortle cuts his hair like soon. :))

Thursday, April 14

:D


















On a darker note, soccer lost their opening to TP. So its kind of gloomy but I know they'll impress everyone next time.

Wednesday, April 13

I feel so useless in this


These 2 days been great. I'm not much behind in class. ((: Theres nothing for history except mark lame essays with lame mistakes like " The USSR is having expension and agressive in his policies. ". I'm keeping up alright in econs even though I dont quite understand some MCQ questions (ey, that is actually really very bad) but seems as though the whole class dont quite get it either. And we successfully evaded a class test today (which will prob mean we'll have to do it tomorrow ):)! Er, no ones found out I STILL haven read Murder in the Rue Morgue and King Lear yet. And expectedly, I aint getting the whole of AP and GP.


I am going off right now (after I blog this) to do everything cause theres every single tutorial expect history tomorrow.


We had fun during soccer yesterday for a few good reasons. I'm pretty glad we scratched the gym idea and went to play with the guys. (No we didnt get trashed. I was in the winning team actually. :)).Trevor actually said I am improving TREMENDOUSLY ! Like since when was it in his vocab to PRAISE? ((: So I'm pretty proud of myself. And Joel/Linol (however its spelt) said I was the best female player there! Whee! I'm just living in self deceit lah. Like which captian actually goes and scores purposeful own goal? Oh well, its still encoraging to know I'm improving. ((:


And today we climbed rock walls ( I tried, really, and will try again) and bouldered. All with the biggest blister in my entire life. But it was a really happy ODAC session cause there was the nice concern from * (:D) and i managed to reach this tile right on top. Even if every one could reach it effortlessly, I had to drop knee and try like 20 times, I'm still retardedly proud of myself. ((:


We also celebrated Waiching, Shihui and Cheryls birthday today. Its true that OGs do split. And its clear we are all caught up in the different busies of our lives. But its nice to know that we do still borther to come down to meet up (even for a short while) and see how we're all getting about. MAKKA rocks. ((:


Thirtyfives setting quickly. Theres the 'popular' girls clique, the anti-noise clique, the 37 clique, the quieter girls clique, the rest of the boys (Harry says they arent considered a clique) and the hermit on the beach. I dont belong anywhere. I think me and Hair form the 37cliques wanna-bes or something. I can talk to everyone, but it just aint the same. We're talking as aquaintances and not as friends. I suddenly come to realize how bonded 38 was. I could talk to anyone and still feel we connect. Its just not the same. We said we wont look back and we wont compare, I'm sorry I cant help remembering us.


Oh I'm really not a very strong girl. I've been told I look indefatigable, but really, I'm just an average little girl who will be upset at all the terrible words. And I do especially hate F words and the third finger pointing. And guys who roll up their sleves. What is their problem? Yuck. None of my business, but I HATE IT all the same.


No wonder manager says J1s are wierd. I think I'm kindda wierd as well. Wierd but happy.

Monday, April 11

You're my source of most fustration.


I love StJohn and I dont care what Harry says. But I'm kind of guilty at my lack of committment to it. Its nice to tell myself oh hey, they're doing perfectly alright without me anyway, but thats really quite a bad excuse.


The hypocrisy, the sheer stupidity, the incapability, the unpopularity and the constant need to whine and complain. And yes of course the total absence of any self-confidence. I really do think I belong in loservile (no, not because of what Harry says about sj being the loser cca. That I fully do not agree). Well, you'll know if you were me.

Saturday, April 9

Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine


I cant quite place it, but I dont feel right.


I'm ready, PROMOTION!

Thursday, April 7

I hear it in your voice on the telephone,
You're so good at playin' stable when you're all alone
And it's over, over, so over


I'm officially an AJ ODACian and will be kicking ass (more like grass patches) around on the soccer field. (: I'm got back my council withdrawal form (which was really brilliantly filled up with a beautiful and truthful essay!). I finally dared to wear my superheroic-firely-red glasses to school (which i secretly hate). I GREW TALLER! I grew fatter. :( I AM GONNA END THE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE OTC SOON! ((: I have a new homeroom in the chem lab. I have the coolest chinese teacher in school - Mrs alice teo, whos oh-so-cool but freaking-possesed-and-anti-guys. I have generally nice teachers. THIRTYFIVEOHFIVES turning out fine! (: My Trevor's-a-pain meter is steadly on the rise (I so am not talkative!). I've stalked quite abit of eyecandies. I've got my SFC and LFC and yadayada. :) I've got the coolest nikefootball.com OLE tshirt ever. I'm juggling 4 subs and 3 ccas. I'm actually understanding econs and lit and history. (but of course not maths) I have the most interesting mortal I'll ever have. I've finally got rid of my history rep post! I'm training to run a 21km marathon. I've finally got my AJ u, which I think I look good in (and I HATE PIUS). I miss Mr Tan Shun Loong oh so much. I miss marjong sessions. I love the thirtyeighters. I had the most neos shot in our 38 celebration for RONG, gin and chengyao. ((:


And I'm really a very boring girl. (:

Saturday, April 2

Wheee! I just love digging deep holes and jumping into them!

Friday, April 1

I've got no place to go, its me againts the world


I'm loads better, thanks if you cared. I found sitting in the canteen talking rubbish for hours about eyecandies and hotties and school and RGS and soccer and school U and everything else immersely enjoyable. (: I could do that forever. And ODAC was great, but it aint the same without the char bor club to nudge whenever a certain CCG (i.e cute cute guy) walks past. :) But hazel aint half bad, that funny thing. :D


Was due to go back for SJ today, but there was ODAC (and council, which I skipped). I still havent decide if I should run or not, though I'm leaning towards to not side. Please take me ODAC, even if I'm grossly unfit and terribly niang. I am tying bowline knots and running hard, so please want me! (: Otherwise I might just give council a shot. Oh yes, then there is female soccer (WOOHOO!) which I wonder how many of the 47 ppl who signed up will actually turn up. And StJohns, someone plan a first aid competition and drop the proposal on my lap! Thanks! I'm quite certain I will not be able to juggle all three but I almost certainly cant drop any, so we'll see how it goes. (:


Please do not assume I have a crush on you unless you hear from me otherwise.


I look wrong in the AJ U. I swear the blue pinafold hides my fats alot better.

roses are red

阳光总在风雨后
请相信有彩虹

♥

April 2003

August 2003

September 2003

October 2003

November 2003

December 2003

January 2004

February 2004

March 2004

April 2004

May 2004

June 2004

July 2004

August 2004

September 2004

October 2004

November 2004

December 2004

January 2005

February 2005

March 2005

April 2005

May 2005

June 2005

July 2005

August 2005

September 2005

October 2005

November 2005

December 2005

January 2006

February 2006

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

October 2006

November 2006

December 2006

January 2007

February 2007

March 2007

April 2007

May 2007

June 2007

July 2007

February 2008

April 2008

May 2008

June 2008

July 2008

September 2008

January 2009

March 2009

April 2009

May 2009

June 2009

July 2009

August 2009

September 2009

October 2009

November 2009

December 2009

January 2010

February 2010

March 2010

April 2010

May 2010

June 2010

July 2010

August 2010

September 2010

October 2010

November 2010

December 2010

January 2011

February 2011

March 2011

April 2011

May 2011

June 2011

July 2011

August 2011

September 2011

October 2011

November 2011

December 2011

January 2012

March 2014