Just got back from the UCSB vs ASU game and boy I miss playing rugby. And it was nice having people tell you they missed you (especially when its least expected). I wish I was still playing for them, especially when their scrumhalves are both out due to injury (maybe thats the only reason I was missed). And its a different style of playing here and back home, but I'm glad I had that opportunity to learn and I shall not be greedy. Because in exchange for rugby I gained so much more than I know.
This is the first time I actually went back to support after leaving the team. When I quit canoe polo and soccer, I never ever went back to watch any game and truth be told I think ties remain slightly strained (or they could have forgotten). It felt odd, like to have once been part of something but now completely left out. haha. Still was a good game to watch (:
I'm been scouring the Internet recently because endless random stuff have caught my attention as I am the random person I am. And the amount good photography have had me inspired and jealous and envious and happy all at once. haha, am sharing good stuff with you, dont say bo jio.
"Apparently the space between your thumb and forefinger when you make the ok sign is also the width of a branch that can hold your weight." I think mine would be very inaccurate. (Lost)
Rebecca Ward has teamed up with Kate Spade not only to produce a handbag (which if you ask me isnt news worthy) but decorate their first flagship store in Japan as well as their store at Soho. I adore her whole tapping concept and I wish I was at their tape party which guest would decorate whatever there was (books, shoes, sunglasses etc) with the happy florescent yellow and pink tape. Even though I think the actual products probably arent spectacular, but its a cool concept no?
Eugene and Liz got lego-themed married (I say it like they're my friends, but no, I have no clue who they are, but I wish them a very blissful marriage) and their party favors were lego shaped candy with the tagline "building our love brick by brick". And just how sweet is that (: The guys all wore lego cuff links too! Read more about their wedding here.
I love America and all their creativity and 'if you dare think it, do it' attitude (:
Today I spent another beautiful Friday indulging in nothing at all. I almost fainted after hitting the gym and the turf (and here I truly mean almost FAINTED) and had to lie down in the swimming pool toilet's bench for a good 20min. I'm so out of shape warning lights are going off.
I am very contented with the simple things in life such as the revival of my Dove shampoo (the previous Shiseido shampoo I was using previously has run out after too long) and Calbee soft shell crab chips which Vicvic carried all the way from Vancouver and is about the best thing ever (WHY CAN'T I FIND IN ON EBAY!)! (:
Its a good thing Gary doenst read my blog if not I have alot of answering to do about my constant obsession with food.
ALOHA! (: I'm done with my paper on deviance, finally. And to prove my affinity with the subject, I did my deviant act by handing in the paper 1 day late. In celebration, My ahgogo and I booked our Hawaii flights and we are leaving LAX on the 22 March. Which means we're leaving Santa Barbara on the 21st and it is likely to be the last time I'm coming to this beautiful city I think. But those musings are for another day.
What really made my day today is when I tried to redeem my United Airlines free ticket and was screaming at the phone operator. Just when you thought that automated phone operators cant get any worse, they replace the whole "press 1 for X and press 2 for Y" with voice recognition function which basically leaves you screaming like an idiot and completely pissed off cause they do not recognize voices very well.
So yes, I was screaming at this voice when suddenly an ingenious idea popped into my head and I shouted "speak to agent". Either those were the magic words or my fury was communicated clearly. I got transferred to this indian agent who put me on hold for a good 20 min each time I asked a question. Obviously I was annoyed and when he told me he couldnt redeem my voucher for me (its only good for a flight within 14 days and I tried to book one 1 mth later) and was almost going to burst when he put me on hold yet again. Then he came back and told me that he spoke to his supervisor and they are going to make an exception for me and let me book. Guilt washed over me and I felt so bad for all the mean thoughts I had towards him :/ Moral of the story, dont be so quick to judge, some people take awhile to show their true angelic nature. (:
On top of this being a very pretty bag, I like how the colour of the wallpaper and floor (is it my deteriorating eyesight? Because it sure seems pinkish) seems to be made for it. Even if I don't use it (very likely as I usually live by one very hardy, cheap bag aka white straw bag from UO that is in an extremely pitiful state), I think it serves as a pretty piece of decoration. (:
You always manage to make me feel so small but so happy at the same time because I know despite it all, someone loves me regardless (:
Its not the norm for me to wallow in my perceived inadequacies, but I believe even the most secure of man must sometimes question themselves. And if they don't, there is a fine line between being secure in yourself or being an asshole.
If the statistics presented in class are anything to go by, by the time you are a senior in an American college (age 22) 1 in 4 would still be a love virgin (having not experienced love ever) but only 1 in 20 will be a sex virgin.
I need to be a more productive essay writer. And stop falling into the Mandopop of the 1960s.
Beast: I want to do something for her... but what? Cogsworth: Well, there's the usual things: flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep...
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/22/2010 07:53:00 AM |
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Sunday, February 21
My nails are the shade of California Raspberry.
It ends when I unravel the scarf- its something like the much overdue closing ceremony. I always wanted to give it away to the person it was always meant for, but something in me snapped recently and I know it deserves a much better owner.
We should/could be so much happier for everyones who has left. Its hard, but I think we shouldn't want the person we care about to be stuck in a rut or anything. So whether its a rebound, a true love found or just an awesome new life, at least the person who left isn't stuck in the land of misery. I don't think the idea of being happy for the person who left is a concept many can actually swallow whole. But I genuinely can and its a pity you weren't big enough to let me tell you that.
Van really couldn't be happier with the movie dates and the dose of girliness enough to make up for the lack over the past 2 years and to tide me over the next 2 years. Movie dates and Lindsay Lohan and prawn rolls and online shopping spree and the discussion of elderly sexual behaviours and magic words and my funny-lol-worthy ahgogo- can life get any better than this? Yes- when Legally Bronze is out, life will be officially complete. (:
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess.
We watched Valentines Day today, and as a highly experienced chick flick critic, this is deserveing of 6 popcorns all toped with butter and white cheddar powder. All the good looking people and the slightly, but not entirely, predictable plot and the little quirks and the music- I like. The indian dancing was slightly over the top, or perhaps I was influenced by certain personal (dis)interest and experience.
And of course, Ashton Kutcher who secretly became good- looking is on top of my happy list followed closely by Anne Hathaway. How do you resist a man who can look this good in a pink long sleeve shirt?
Reed Bennett (Aston Kutcher): Oh hell yes. Love is the only shocking act left on the planet.
And if you're not convinced that you should watch this show yet (impossible, you must be weird), you can check out more photos and stuff on their website where the pictures came from. Or you can wait till I get back and watch it with you. I'm such a chick flick on repeat fan its almost embarrassing.
So this entry about uses up all my tokens to be an airhead for the next 2 weeks. I am soon going to watch "Apartheid Did Not Die" and this Russian version of Hamlet so as to feel more like a undergraduate then 15 again. (Which, if you are interested in hearing my opinion on either, feel free to leave a comment. Otherwise, do not accuse me of being so superficial because its not that I dont want to talk about it, its just that no one wants to hear about it. But everyone needs to hear about Valentines Day)
Then again, 15 is such a nice way to feel. And I do wish someone would say that I'm like sunshine. If the someone was Ashton Kutcher, that would be even better haha.
HAHAHA even though she put up 14 uly pictures of me in my true nature - eating and eating and eating. I still love her. And the conversations we had. And the prawn rolls they sent across 9000 miles.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/17/2010 09:22:00 AM |
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What should you do when your stomach does cartwheels it never should do?
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/17/2010 06:38:00 AM |
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Tuesday, February 16
I see a rainbow wash over his eyes.
I'm starting to fear that the only reason why I believe is because I don't know what else to hope for otherwise.
I cannot understand why people can be so unfeeling, so hurtful and so plain selfish. We were made bigger than that. I can understand why people still hold on to unfeeling, hurtful and selfish people, because underneath it all, there was the magic that you still want to encounter.
I knew exactly who I want right here right now. The very same person I'm praying will bounce back soon.
My third trip to Vegas was supposed to be lucky and it was so much more than that. I had the best alternative to a real Chinese New Year and Valentines day in Singapore - 4 days of mirth and familiarity and rugby.
So we came back a while ago after yet another good meal at LA and in the car I was thinking about the friends I made here and how they've been so so good to me. And really, God is wonderful, he gave me friends who took me to Vegas (it was about a 18 hr drive both ways) and drove me all the way to the stadium to watch the rugby game. And when we took the shutter bus back to the strip on our own, Vincent even said why did we do that, we should have just called them to make the drive to pick us up.
It isnt often I let people into my heart, but these boys have earned it flat out.
Sam, when Canbe and I were cooking chicken curry: 这么温馨，你们走了我们该这么办？
Vincent: We love you so much horrrr. Canbe: Be careful as we go up the mountain, the air pressure might hurt your ears.
Josh (when I barely knew him): 你要对自己有信心你会找到更好的
Leo: When you are in Vancouver, you can call my brother.
We had out semi reunion dinner today with Jun as our most delightful guest and I thank God once more for giving me these people whom I never thought would bring so much joy to my life. Yes, the clean up is still a bitch, but no where near Linda's standard.
I'm going to Vegas tomorrow because of delightful Sam, Vincent and Victoria who are possibly my secret angels. That and they gave in to my constant pesky "I-want-to-go-Vegas-lehhh" whines. (: Tomorrow I am going to buy my USA Rugby 7s ticket and I am going to be one very happy girl in the place that I simply cannot refuse even though I somewhat want to.
But don't worry, I havent forgot about you (:
This will be my first Chinese New Year overseas- Van is really all growing up. Chinese New Year will never be complete without the family and ba kwa.
I always wondered if it would be better if we all had a remote control to life. We could pause it when we needed to think, rewind every morning for longer sleep, fastforward dreary times, record things we never want to forget (and the best part) record over/ erase things we don't want to remember.
I know it won't make things better, I'm just wondering.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/11/2010 02:24:00 AM |
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There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go.
-Tennessee William
Tennessee Williams wrote one of my second favourite play - The Glass Menagerie and I will always love him for that.
Wish I was more of a global citizen and less cooped up in my own little world - the worlds so large and so beautiful its pretty amazing how some people can (by choice) not want to own a passport. But anyway, if I was more involved in the world we live in and less obsessed with Vivocity, maybe I wouldnt be in my current state of ignorance with regards to the Israel- Palestine conflict and be in danger of failing out of Global Conflict.
Something I love doing, especially if they're old from the library- just like my Hamlet, the one I need to finish reading somewhen today.
I miss having your panic face to laugh at in times of such distress.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/11/2010 01:42:00 AM |
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Tuesday, February 9
The sharp hint of new tears and fears.
I've put so much caffeine in my bloodstream it should really be illegal. My eyes are somewhat glazed and I've given up on the 285 pg book that I will never read. Its really my fault for letting these rather interesting readings pile up. But there were just so many things worth doing.
No, I'm deceiving nobody, I was just being me. I have long outgrown my drive for school, I think its time to hit the 'real world', but thanks to the self-development imperative, I am stuck in this paper chase aided to a large extend by the take-home essay goddess (I'm usually a secret genius at that). But later, I am going to fall flat on my face during my mid terms, possibly sleeping in despair.
I don't think I'm as tired as should be, in fact I'm kind of high from the lack of sleep (and 4 cups of coffee) I suspect its my psychological sloth monster telling me I'm dazed.
The Superbowl is the championship game of the National Football League and is probably the biggest 'festival' for America. (And if my professor is right, it is also the day that most cases of female abuse is reported.) Personally i still prefer rugby to football, but I do see the appeal in this sport. And although its not the world's most watched sporting event, it is by far the biggest revenue generator- the world cup (can't wait!) makes only about 30% of what the NFL does. And I must say even though I highly doubt alcohol needs further promotion in this country, the ads were rather entertaining and you can even re-watch all of them online- an idea I find highly amusing.
So after watching the game and having my heart go out to Peyton Manning, I am officially convinced that the quarterback is by far the coolest player on the field.
So yesterday, a person I dont particularly like or dislike came back into my life through a text. It was a brief revisit but I realized the extent of my stupidity- as if you didn't made me feel cheap once, you had to do it a second time and I had to let you.
Despite acknowledging that the facebook group "Overheard at NUS" served a rather entertaining read, I didn't want to join because there are some terrible mistakes that simply embarrass the name of NUS the number 32nd university in the world. But what I read today had me convinced: "The exam damn hard, only done 3 out of 10 questions." "Nvm, bell curve God will help u."
I miss the stupid things we do and say. haha.
Simply put, you did not have to do that. Maybe you thought you had to; the deed is done anyhow. And there really isn't anything that you can do to destroy the idealized imaginary of you I have in my head- the one that no longer exists in life anymore.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/07/2010 08:41:00 AM |
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Saturday, February 6
“Your heart is my piñata.”
- Chuck Palahniuk
Since there is no one and nothing to drag me out of bed today, I spent a lovely rainy morning doing exactly what everyone should be doing - snuggling up in bed. To be precise, i spent most of the afternoon too, only really waking up at 5 when a message from my Ahgogo led me to another path previously untaken.
Then I received another shock while on CNN/world web, that England skipper John Terry has been stripped of his post due to his affair with ex- Chelsea teammate, Wayne Bridge's, ex-girlfriend whom with Bridge has had a child with. (Yes, the complexities of relationships)
It is really sad to know that despite all great man having been lovers, it seems that infidelity is one trait that haunt many. Having taken two sexuality classes and broaching this topic with many open minded people (both local and non) here, it seems as though the common consensus is that men cheat, or in Hannah's classic words, "anything with a penis is bound to cheat". I've heard things like you desire traits in both parties so you want both. And Josh even said it is kind of like why females go shopping despite having so many things- because we're never satisfied.
Now this goes against everything I've believed in since heard the words 'one true love' and although I accept that every relationship dynamics is different, I find it extremely disturbing that this is what is taking over the world (Although not quite since Terry is getting sacked for the moral disturbances he is creating). Its not that I cannot accept that people change, but I think before they do, if they are fully aware that there is someone has faith in them (of course if the other party is cheating I guess you both deserve it other) they should have that kind of moral courage to admit to the person that they are no longer worthy of that kind of love. Because although a change of heart is somewhat forgivable, betrayal is really really not.
But then again people do stupid things when they are in love. As as pertinent as it is, I refuse to join the Facebook group "I forgive you because I still want you in my life".
I found this picture of John and Toni and I think wedding photos might as well be daggers in rocky marriages. So seeing how it is extremely probable that I will be cheated on by my non-existant future husband, maybe I shouldn't take any wedding photos. Or maybe I will, so in the event I marry someone with a conscious, I will paste them all over his room and send, by emails, one every day, to remind him of the promise he broke, the one he never ever should have made.
HAHA, okay this is very depressing indeed. But you know what they say- the more you prepare for something to happen the more it won't.
I both love and loath change. We can change for the better or for the worse or for nothing at all. It may be all too common to say things happen for a reason and by that logic, things change for a reason, whether you like it or not. Perhaps it is to teach you one of life's important lessons, or its a chance for you to establish yourself in someone else life- whatever the case, I never found much to fear in change. Thats easy for me to say, things have never really put me to the test. I made one big change 4 years ago when I learnt that there are some things even I cannot do and since then, I've been a lot more resilient. So even though there are people and situations that have changed beyond recognition, I'm going to be okay. And thats hardly even accurate because this time instead of feeling any bouts of regret, I actually believe that this time, you made a right choice.
Feel a little sorry Sometimes you're not here when I am writing Feels a little awkward Sometimes you won't talk but we're not fighting You hold on to your secrets And I'm not privy to what is on your mind But I can't help but feel tired So tired, so tired, so tired.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/05/2010 11:08:00 AM |
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Thursday, February 4
California Raspberry
I was not so happily munching on vege crisp trying not to fall asleep on Aristide and Victoria had to drop the bomb by telling me how much weight we put on.
And this picture was taken right before the Singapore development team left for KL. She commented that even though I sat in front, my legs still looked decently skinny. And I realized with a jolt that I have indeed put on a respectable amount of weight cause if I were to sit in front now, my legs would be half the picture.
Yes, its really that sad. My gym and run routine cannot make up for the many things I put in my mouth today.
I do love the oldest Mandarin songs. There are just so many simple things in the past ballads that crap like Womanizer, evidently reflecting the changes in society, will never understand. Its ironic how I am growing more proud of my Chinese roots here in the US of A.
Almost as ironic as how I scored full marks for 2 papers I know naught about what I was writing. And one of them was a reading review and analysis of which I only read 1 out of 7 readings. Sadly I'm still fighting a losing battle to keep up despite having 5 very interesting classes this quarter.
And I don't know which is more unbelievable- the fact that my Professor actually was agreeable to let us off class 1/2 hour early so that we can go home and watch Obama's state of the union speech or the fact that I actually went back and watched it.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/04/2010 06:52:00 AM |
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Wednesday, February 3
To the person who went through the whole phrase of liking the same boyband, feeling embarrassed about it, coming to terms with it and then realizing that you still like their cheesy, but now somewhat apposite lyrics.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/03/2010 05:54:00 AM |
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Tuesday, February 2
For my superwoman Ahgogo who is totally not supposed to be here, good luck on learning the laws and blahh and I hereby declare you super. By default, anyone who can live with me and gain my fellow ahgogo status has to be somewhat super. LYDD (Love you deep deep) (:
Not too long ago, I had enough happiness to be someone else's happy pill. But today, I could use a few of my own.
Its the small things that matter. And when so many small things decide to wage war on me today, I think it is acceptable that i waste my gym routine today for a cup of Coke. In one day, I had my ex-houseowner turn into a bitch on me (ironic cause shes such a cat lover), lost my house key, have my house toilet spoil on us (!!!), have to go one a massive pack up session of the house, was unable to help a friend feel any better, feel left behind by my Singapore mates twice, harbor evil thoughts about people 62 times, feel a surge of panic about wanting an internship, have the floor of my house coated with crumbs and just feel like a terrible, horrible person.
Maybe its not so much that I had a tough day, but more of how I feel like I don't have anyone to be bratty to.
Well, on the bright side, Christmas came early at 218 as our packages unloaded by the boxes and at least I know I've served my bad luck day of the week.
I don't think people do this nearly enough. We grew amongst praises for the smallest things such as the utterance of monosyllabic words (eg. ma! pa!) and comfort for every small stumble. But in the process of growing up, we take being frangible as being unacceptable, showing weakness as 'losing' and we learn to be casual about everything to play the power dynamics game. In short, we trade affirmations for our achievements for mockery for anything that falls short of perfection which is a sad, sad thing.
Today on, I promise to be generous with my approvals and to be less critical on others and myself.
The brightness of her cheeks will shame the stars and her words are the cue for the goofiest smiles.
ALOHA! (: I'm done with my paper on deviance, finally. And to prove my affinity with the subject, I did my deviant act by handing in the paper 1 day late. In celebration, My ahgogo and I booked our Hawaii flights and we are leaving LAX on the 22 March. Which means we're leaving Santa Barbara on the 21st and it is likely to be the last time I'm coming to this beautiful city I think. But those musings are for another day.
HAHAHA even though she put up 14 uly pictures of me in my true nature - eating and eating and eating. I still love her. And the conversations we had. And the prawn rolls they sent across 9000 miles. 
Something I love doing, especially if they're old from the library- just like my Hamlet, the one I need to finish reading somewhen today.
Guess who can't wait for it to rain now? Or if it doesn't, I'm just going to return it to target.com after 90 days! ((:
I don't think people do this nearly enough. We grew amongst praises for the smallest things such as the utterance of monosyllabic words (eg. ma! pa!) and comfort for every small stumble. But in the process of growing up, we take being frangible as being unacceptable, showing weakness as 'losing' and we learn to be casual about everything to play the power dynamics game. In short, we trade affirmations for our achievements for mockery for anything that falls short of perfection which is a sad, sad thing.
