I love the colosseum- the blend of the old and the new, the powerful and the defeated, the stolen and the restored, the richly historic and modern, the past and the present and the existing and the forgotten. To put it succinctly, I love how it was built for itself (and not intentionally as an attraction like a certain double helix bridge I could but wont mention) and how it has meant so many things through the ages and eventually come to absorb all that its been though. Yet, to so many, it remains only as an emblem of Rome when really it is so much more.
Mamihlapinatapei : 8/25/2011 01:58:00 AM |
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Sunday, July 10
"We search for happiness everywhere, but we are like Tolstoy's fabled begged who spent his life sitting in a pot of gold, begging for pennies from every passerby, unaware that his fortune was right under him the whole time." -eat, pray, love
It is overtly cliched to be reading a book about finding oneself on a travel trip while trying to find myself on my travel trip but yes, this is exactly what I am doing. The first time I read this book I found it rather pretentious (even though I did like it). I mean she has a life revealation in every of her 109 chapters and quotable quotes ever other page- I found that too deliberate and unbelievable as a travel log. But reading it again has brought about even more things to think about and though her journey is still artificial, her thoughts and life probing questions and interesting metaphors strike a much louder chord. (: I'm glad I have it to delve into to restore some semblence of peace for the past 4 days.
Sometime in the idle day of today, I got to thinking if I were a book, what kind of book will I be (since you know I'm so cliched and predictable and some people have arrogantly told me they can read me like an open book- in their dreams/nightmares really)? And I think I would be a beautiful children's book, with colorful and pretty illustrations of various styles- cartoon, watercolour, pop art, classical, etc. I would have clear, simple yet cutting sentence in a nice font that would tell the story as it is. Or so it seems, because there would be much to uncover in the pictures and words if one would care to look. I would be something like "The little prince", but better illustrated and less wordy (anyways I nv finished TLP, it was just too far-fetched somehow). I would be boring, to the disinterested mind.
So if one day someone asks you what kind of book will van be, you've got the answer handy haha.
Mamihlapinatapei : 7/10/2011 03:24:00 AM |
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Saturday, June 4
I ran out of places and friendly faces because, I had to be free.
Funny how Yilin remembered this was exactly the way I behaved the night before exchange, funny how the rediscoved texts and numbers stored in my sim card has lost all the sweetness that I saved and replaced the warm fuzzy feeling with an simplistic, empty loss.
But I couldnt be more blessed if I asked for it. And its not just about the money (money, money). My dad told me to bring shoes because the road in Europe is not as smooth and I will surely stub my toes there (I managed to fly over a row of chairs at church that day so I suspect hes absolutely right). My mum has been busy trying to sew my shorts (which I keep trying to decline since I intend to throw them eventually).
Then theres all the delightful friends although delightful is such a chirpy word. I probably packed too much in this week flying from one expensive lunch to another (and hence the pounds pun intended are going to show) and I'm working on pure adredeline, nerves and a hiro chocolate cake. I am intensely grateful for some people whom I consider to have kept, and will keep me safe from this crazy world. And its really the unexpected texts, and phonecalls and stuff that is really such a genuine surprise.
I've actually asked 2 people to send me off tomorrow. Which is rare because I hate send offs- the whole awkwards when do I say bye, am I neglecting this person for another and the kanchiong parents hovering wildly. But this trip, I'm honestly scared. I've travelled alone in the states, but that was sort of different- I was working on kind of recklessness and rebelliousness and in the knowledge that some one was always at the other end of the line. So I would love to have my Por and Qiu there (but understandably, 8 am is too much to ask from her I dont think anyone understands it as much as me dont worry) but I've been surprised by some people offering to come the idea that you actually considered waking up at 7 to come see me off is really enough. No one really actually has to do it. (Except Por because if you dont come I really will cry). Thanks loves.
I will probably miss a few stops, and get myself in a few spots (I just found out 1 hr ago one of my flight is going out from Lisbon not Porta and I've booked hostels and all already urgh (thank goodness for the concept of deposit). But anyway, it is my matra that not all who wander are lost so hopefully my anal need for organization (yes I actually have one. organization isnt a synonyms of neatness) will take a backseat. I am also giving up my spot in the Los San Fermines Festival (where bulls will chase people down streets) because I received a calling from God (or the sane part of my brain) that this would completely fall in the catogory of 傻事.
Actually I would term this spiritual trip as a (very expensive) mission to rediscover the simplest of smiles. I will buy myself a copy of Eat, pray, love at the airport just because its completely intune with my train of thoughts. I pad myself with so much protection and 'love' but at the heart of it all, I feel like I need to walk some roads alone.
So I've brought my diary with which I'll share my observations with the world, and if I need a dialogue it'll be on this page and if I just need to show off what a great time I'm having it'll be on tumblr. Goodbye for now (I suspect wifi shouldnt be too scarce a commodity, don't know why I'm acting like I'm about to go into hiding). And I always feel like I should tell people I love them before I (or if its them) board a plan. Its quite morbid if you think about it, but here it goes:
I love you, see you in 52 days (:
Oh, I'm also kind of upset about missing all my friends/batchmates' commencement because I really want to see my friend graduate. I have this tendency to feel proud of my friends. (: Congrats guys.
Mamihlapinatapei : 6/04/2011 04:23:00 AM |
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Friday, May 27
Peace ceased to be permanent since I'm-not-telling-you-when and I need to re-discover the times when I used to crack into smiles when no ones watching, creepy sounding as that may be.
I think the main reason why its hard to leave the past and focus on the future is because unlike the tangible memories, a vague picture of glorious possibilities don't actually stir up much emotions in you. What someone said a week ago, would probably make me feel like shit for another few good weeks. The past affects my present in ways the future cannot as yet but I also firmly believe it is what we go through that makes us who we are - I place no value judgement as to if thats a better thing though.
If they serve warm cinnamon rolls on the cruise later, it might make me feel comforted. Strange as it may seem I probably need this get away, but the irrational part of me wants to climb right back into my unmade bed and wallow in my melancholy and nua.
But I laughed, as I haven't laughed in some time, the HAHAHA stomach ache cannot see where I'm going laugh with Qiu yesterday and being bitchy suits me- not giving a shit if I offend the world (okay not exactly true, I would die if someone overheard our conversation).
This was taken in Seattle, where I walked in the rain for over 6 hours in search for the University of Washington thanks to the map that was not labelled "extremely not drawn to scale". When I reach the warmth of Macy's, I sat down among the Winter Olympics range of Ralph Lauren and felt grateful for life in general.
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/23/2011 01:42:00 AM |
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Saturday, February 5
Of the very many songs I enjoyed singing (with or without a voice) randomly during my Hongkong trip, I thought this was the most memorable and I will learn the lyrics and how to play it on a guitar someday.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/05/2011 12:57:00 AM |
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Thursday, January 13
I feel so happy looking of this picture at me being so happy hugging a random signboard on Victoria, a random Vancouver Island nobody actually needs to visit.
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/13/2011 02:07:00 AM |
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Friday, December 24
Oh damn random but DBS randomly sent me a new card with "enhanced security features" just when I've been wanted a new card replacement for the longest time seeing as I broke mine the last time I was rolling on the snowy hills of Whistler around this time last year.
Its almost Christmas, and Gracie is taking too long to get here I am half on my way to sleep. But I'm not big on countdowns. I never was and even more so because Charlie irritated me quite a fair bit when he talked about how (it was New Years Day that I was trying to get him to be excited about I believe) he doesnt believe in countdowns because how do we know the time we follow is the correct one and like how one part of the world's new year is not the same as the other blah blah and hence there really is no precise "12.00am Happy New Year moment". And I got irrtated (silently of course) because although it make sense and further proves the point of how different he is from the rest of the world (to contesting effects), its also annoying to rationalize everything.
Alright shes here, just in time to save you from a discussion on what I think should be the true meaning of Christmas. (: Happy Christmas eve darlings.
Mamihlapinatapei : 12/10/2010 05:04:00 AM |
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Thursday, November 25
No more miserable all nighters for me I think/hope.
I NEARBY DECLARE THAT THIS HOLIDAYS I WILL :
1) win the trust of the parental units for use of the car
2) adopt a healthy lifestyle- both sleeping habits (by that I mean min 7 hrs, hopefully by 2 am, but no maximum and I dont care what some people have to say about it) and diet wise (anti-ckw pledge back on)
3) stop sloth-ing and start training up for sundown
4) change my bedsheets
5) fix the wrist and do something about the cyst
6) stop skipping church
I'm confident I'll definitely work on these goals more audaciously than I did for the exams. But the holidays feel strangely far away and kind of awkward. Or I could just be tired haha.
Want to be back at Hawaii. And no its has nothing to do with me missing anyone, I just thought that song is somewhat appropriate to be the theme song of my summer (Pui, who are we Singaporeans kidding really. Summer is just a nice way of making this disgusting weather sound lovely- we really do not have summer. All we have is humidity that annoys the crap out of me.)
Anyway today already holds promises of being shitty - starting with 5 hrs of sleep, an unfinished lab assignment, lab (LAST ONE TMR! I mean it is fun if you compare it to lectures but it is really destestable when you compare it to what you can otherwise be doing, like sleep), a driving lesson I wont be able to go to (I'm really hopping my instructor doesnt call my mum :/) and fitness session (always a drag).
I spent a perfect Sunday yesterday Big walking with the loves of my lives and then coming home to snacks and Hk drama and Valentines day in a cozy, cool bed. (:
"When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?”
Carrie, Sex and the City
You know the exact words that make me feel like crying- not enough to make me cry, but enough to make me feel all vulnerable inside.
And when we go through things we grow- so less things hurt and hit you as hard. Its supposed to be that way.
But I had a throughly awesome day- good news from friends, good company and good sex and the city. (:
Valparaiso, Chile: Proof the the world is so beautiful, if one we care to look sometimes.
One day, I will ride the camels past the pyramids.
Stolen from an Enid Blyton book.
Kenya, and I know when I eventually get there I probably might not need a lone zebra in the middle of purple-ry but I can't help thinking I just might.
Tokyo in bloom and motion. Am I the only one who thinks that nature and civilization coexisting in any one place is a kind of magic?
Tanap Avis Falls in the Philipines. I'm not a fan of jumping off waterfalls being a poor swimming and having a hitmyheadonrocksanddiephobia but for this one that looks like its stolen from Peter Pan's Neverland, I just might.
Mamihlapinatapei : 5/25/2010 11:07:00 AM |
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Tuesday, April 27
You've got a smile that could light up this whole town
Why oh why am I actually hooked on a Taylor Swift song?
Home has been everything I ever wanted- its been two weeks and I'm finally getting round to the idea that my credit cards are confiscated and I sweat even in 24degrees air conditioned room. But its weird this transition- I look at everyone with more or less the same eyes that looked upon them 8 months ago, but I dont think it works the other way. Things happened for them that I wasn't a part of after all. I guess I can't demand for the world to wait.
But I'll say for sure, I've been loved. (:
Its the when the hopeful bubble in you that pops that makes you wonder why did you hope in the first place and you only stop wondering when the next bubble rises. haha
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/27/2010 12:31:00 AM |
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Saturday, April 10
Its been 3 weeks of the most unwinterish winter break and 2 more pairs of Havaianas which I really do not need. I'm really to see the boys in a couple of hours and I'm somewhat thinking of LA as 'home' because it will be there when I see all those people I know deserve a part of my heart as I leave for home 2 days later.
But the musing can wait because my mac has about 15 more mins and I need to board my plane (FINALLY- I got kicked out of yet another United flight a few hours ago)
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/10/2010 05:21:00 AM |
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Tuesday, April 6
I've got sunshine, in my life, and it shines so bright!
Zhenglong just asked me if I'll be back next Thursday, and, I WILL! Then I saw Hazel's email asking everyone to come out for XLB with me! Then I see homecoming greetings on my wall! OMG OMG OMG! am super super excited!
Its so surreal that I'm at South beach today, gonna be in the Bahamas tomorrow and home in a week-ish). I'm praying for my luggages everyday!
Qiu and Por (my loyalites) : I'm good, I chacha-ed in Mexico, surfed at Wakiki and got ink-ed in Miami (no just kidding). (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 4/06/2010 11:44:00 AM |
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Friday, March 26
Communication. It’s the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say or how to ask for what we really need.
That makes so much sense! Somewhere along the way I think we learnt to say the words to to protect ourselves, to sell ourselves, to please others and to be who other people wanted us to be.
We didnt quite get the lava or sunshine we wanted, but I'm feeling the charm of Hilo, which could, in all honesty, be part of Cambodia (except with better toilets).
Even though I went alone, Seattle holds so much memories for me. 
Valparaiso, Chile: Proof the the world is so beautiful, if one we care to look sometimes.
Stolen from an Enid Blyton book.
Tokyo in bloom and motion. Am I the only one who thinks that nature and civilization coexisting in any one place is a kind of magic? 
Tanap Avis Falls in the Philipines. I'm not a fan of jumping off waterfalls being a poor swimming and having a hitmyheadonrocksanddiephobia but for this one that looks like its stolen from Peter Pan's Neverland, I just might.