Tuesday, February 28
The place I've come to fear the most.
I shall attribute it to self indulgence anyway.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/28/2006 11:11:00 PM
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So forget your past,
My goodbye girl,
Cause now you're home at last.
I actually am amazed that I managed to survive yesterday without doing a piece of homework or studying econs the entire weekend. I guess the hair-band muggish look is pulling off.
Oh right, go ahead and do odd stuff. Remember to tell me how you want me to react aye?
Cause I can take this, even for forever if you wish.
I am a silly girl, ask me if you need evidence. I assure you its no fallacy.
8Ks gonna be the norm. (:
Far too little time. Poor CCAless people like Gary will never understand. (:
I almost did, but didnt.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/28/2006 01:01:00 AM
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Sunday, February 26
I dont even know for sure,
Are you happy when you think of me?
Aiyo, I'm so so so sorry darling. ):
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/26/2006 09:46:00 PM
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Say it isnt so
One more time and I'll scream, I swear.
Those three words are so disturbing I hate them.
I'm excited now, I hope it'll last. (:
Loads to say, so little time. But nope, I dont ask for a 8 day week. In fact, I'm willing time to spiral out of control. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/26/2006 07:50:00 PM
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See how I've changed now, my heads so clear
Still there are some things, that I don't want to hear
There must be so much I know, that you cannot forget
And I mustn't wish your life began the day we met
Yesteday was lousy day number 6728116928109278916.
1) I woke up in a terrible horrible mood cause something just had to pop into my mind ( This was the fundamental reason. Its like a bad start for everything you know)
2) Ice-skating fell through
3) My beautiful cheapskate Thailand heels broke. While I was rushing into the MRT. Great, how glam.
4) I didn't manage to study much
5) I feel asleep reading Measure for measure
6) I had to wear aunty slippers, which were really aunty, though its no fault of its owner.
7) I feel down playing pool
8) I suck at pool
9 ) My phone ran out of batt (This is getting increasingly common and is no.2 on my hate list)
10) Someone just had to reply a msg hours late when my phone was running out of batt.
11) Cabbed home again with a hefty fee of $10
12) I felt guilty for something I shouldn't have done.
13) I got a curfew extension for nothing cause I decided its time to end the bad luck day and head home instead of town.
14) (and just when I decided to be guai) I came home and no one was at home to see me guai
15) The power supply died on me as I was removing my contacts
16) I spent 30 min fighting the power box as the power came on and off and on and off again
17) I spent 15 min trying to watch a video link from Gary's blog but it kept hanging.
18) My room is in a mess. (Okay, its not a today thing, but its really irritating)
19) My dad just discovered that its my room's aircon thats causing the repeated power switch and that translate into no aircon for tonight! (And maybe even more!)
20 ) :( I feel like a whinny, spoilt girl.
I know Gary said to not complain, I'm agree with his stand and I'm not. I'm just, sharing.
Its time for bed, today can only get better. ((:
By the way, I'm so sorry,
I wish you knew.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/26/2006 12:22:00 AM
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Saturday, February 25
Wont you tell me where to start?
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/25/2006 09:21:00 AM
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Friday, February 24
Yesterday,
All my troubles seem so far away
Today's title is not supposed to make sense. Yesterday my troubles were ever as clear as today, it no longer makes a difference. But all I need is the air that I breathe. (:
When its no longer a question of my ability.
ODAC was great today. (: It wasnt awesome or average, somewhere in between - great. ((:
Two and a half more terms left to the most important hurdle of my entire academic life. Its been almost too fast dont you think? But I'm glad, I cant wait to start the next lap soon. (:
Nope, I dont think body piercings are cool.
Haha, I just realized that despite all my (:, my blog entry sounds just a little sad, but nope, I'm just tired, my contacts are sticking to my eye balls and I can hear myself screaming to remove it later.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/24/2006 11:46:00 PM
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Thursday, February 23
I believe in memories, they look so, so pretty when I sleepYou cant see through me like before.
The right thing is always much harder to do. Sometimes its not even a matter of choice.
But you see, I dont have the heart to blame you.
I wonder if you still come here after all these while, but hey, I'm glad we talked today. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/23/2006 09:33:00 PM
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Wednesday, February 22
Unbelievable sights and that indescribable feeling
I'll care like the silly girl I am.
Daryl gave me a reproachful look for sleeping in class yet again. Yes, I know I shouldnt sleep in class, I cant justify myself anyway. And I slept at 930 the previous night. I wont blame it on work or ODAC or whoever and whatever. But I dont think I can remember a single lesson that I haven slept in at least once before, (even Alice Teo's, and that speaks volumes). So I'm sorry, (maybe not so for Guru's class) and though I cant promise to stop sleeping, I do really accept whatever critics or punishments you know. I'm dont do something wrong, then bitch about the person who catches me for it. And its not something I can help, like going to class on time or doing my homework. You tell me how lah. (Sleeping early every night is simply not an option. )
My class have got no spirit, no dynamics, no cohessiveness. I care for each of them, but as a class, i seriously do think WE (yes, all of us) are crap. But thats for another day.
ODAC would have been awesome, but I guess we all have to face the truth.
I'm glad that I finally have a good reason to feel a bit sad tonight.
I'll deal with tags later, I'm not exactly in the mood for love right now. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/22/2006 10:38:00 PM
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Tuesday, February 21
At the end of the longest line
thats where I will always be
Thank you, I just love it when people are rude. It speaks volumes for your character. ((:
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/21/2006 08:09:00 PM
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Actually I secretly think I care if you think I'm stupid or not.
But I'm learning how not to. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/21/2006 12:35:00 AM
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Monday, February 20
Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own,
so don't buy in.
Live right now and
just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough
For someone else.
It just takes some time
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,Everything, everything will be alright, alright.
Harry- haha, oh yes, I forgot. Superhuman Jem eh! But hey, I'm saving the world too! In my own little way. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/20/2006 10:42:00 PM
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Dreams are my reality
It was most amusing and entertaining to see the look of horror on everyones faces as they trampled through the canteen relentlessly trying to find something that wasnt porridge, sweet potato or potato only to find that everything, include the currypuff look-alike lying in the currypuffs' place was truely porridge, sweet potato or potato. ((: I would live through one more day of hunger pangs and locked toilets and no aircon just to see the phatatic looks on everyone faces. And Harry's lighted face in response to my well-hidden pack of honey stars in my locker can fight with Beatty's highly optimistic comment that "
Sweet potato tastes quite good with sugar" for the highlight of the day. (:
Just when you though you've seen it all.
Just a little bit more, I can I can I can!
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/20/2006 08:39:00 PM
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Sunday, February 19
goodnight starlight. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/19/2006 11:36:00 PM
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The words you scream to not have to hear
This is a picture of Daryl and his guitar! Its freaking cute aint it? (: I think he has a secret talent for these rather than those hot penguines of his. ((:
Its Sunday night again. Time should give keep trudging this way. ((:
Then theres so many things do. Oftentimes, I wish I was Jeremy.
I do wonder what the future holds.
Nothing can make more more secure or insecure in my position. I suppose that is a good sign. (:
Harry- Hey, I used to take Higher Chinese okay! I am effectively bilingual. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/19/2006 10:17:00 PM
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I've seen your tears fall when you thought you were alone
I remember when I used to like cheesecake. (Now, I only like the cheese-less part of the cheesecake, the crumbly thing on the bottom.) On my 12th birthday, my dad drove me to Shangri-la hotel to buy one for my party. And that day, I got back my first maths test which wasnt a distiction. I remember, it was my first horrendous test results - 73 marks. And when I had guiltly admitted that to him, he told me in a disappointed voice that I had to answer to my mum myself, and I burried myself in shame and guilt.
If only I was like that now.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/19/2006 01:35:00 PM
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Friday, February 17
Hey, its no big deal this time round.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/17/2006 11:31:00 PM
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This is our last dance
St Nicks will always feel like home. I finally got my hands on her student diary, which means I will start keeping track of my homework and all. ((: Its about time. A pity orange bowl didnt wait for us.
I've been feeding off prior econs knowledge, Rosy's lit notes and Joces history notes this entire week. I really do wonder what I do in school.
I do wonder sometimes, but thats about it. (:
I know its been hard on you. Dont image things to be a bed of roses for us please. Harsh word, curses and complains not only serve to bring your stong emotions across, it also serves to discredit all your 'selfless deeds'. But I guess a reflection on our part is in order. :)
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/17/2006 09:10:00 PM
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Thursday, February 16
Racing with destiny
Ripped off Harry's. Its interesting to know what people think of you, regardless if you agree or not, there must be some basis eh? (:
http://kevan.org/johari?name=van7
Oddly enough, I dont think I'm friendly, and you dont think I'm accepting.
Being not as happy as before doesnt mean I'm not happy. (: If you get what I mean. But I know my Por's never gonna leave me even if I turn sucidal. This is what a promise should be like. :D
Note the 4 adorable saga seeds at the bottom, Daryl made them for me!www.ajcodac.blogspot.com :))
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/16/2006 09:52:00 PM
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Wednesday, February 15
Just to say sorry for the black eyes and bleeding lips
Hello stranger.
Face your consequences as your life begins to fade
As time keeps spinning closer to the bitter end
I watched the most important Jet Li movie ever. And it was good. Justice against mercy, measure for measure. Haha, it all came back flooding back to me. And it helped that Jet Li was so charming. (:
We ended ODAC at 5.50 today. It must be a record in the whole of history to end ODAC when the suns still up and the courts are all crowded by the various people about.
I learnt somethings about me today, the way you look at me and the things I do.
I have some mind power and mental strength of my own. Letting that go is pure stupidity on my part. Never again. (:
Innocence and naiveness should be lost. Or at least according to Changtai. I disgree, purity, trust and love is the way everything should be. However, it is irrefutable that it is hard to survive in todays context if you're too naive. And by today, I mean even in JC, right now. Which is sad isnt it? To lie, to scheme, to not believe. I've learnt my fair share on this, but somehow, pure sillyness or otherwise, I refuse to accept the way society wants me to be. I'm better being simple. I know I'm not as uncritial and accepting as I used to be. But deep inside, I think I have a heart of gold. ((:
But ultimately, when you create such a hype and facade, the results will still stamp loser all over. I'm sorry, I cant help sterotyping, but I will give you one chance to prove me wrong.
There is a voice unkind in the back of my mind. :(
But I'm meant to live for so much more.
Thursdays are my weak days. But tonight I'm gonna sleep so early so I'll not hurt my ears sleeping in econs tomorrow.
Escaping am I? Awesome, just what I always needed! No, really. (:
I'll bounce off walls and eat slugs and swim across the changi sea, because I'm indefatiguable, undefeatable!
And I saw you at your best today. :D
I care that its total defense day !
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/15/2006 09:02:00 PM
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Dont you see why it cant be done anymore?
I think I need to reprioritise.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/15/2006 12:06:00 AM
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Tuesday, February 14
Fears are dominating.
Today was good. (: Thanks to a whole host of people and the nice thought and all. ((: The best part of presents are when people actually appreciate them. And I know it sounds unfair, but presents and nice words and actions from the least expected people actually tends to mean the most.
I wanted to dissappear for awhile today.
But you were there for me, just when I needed you most. It meant so much, you have no idea. :)
So, Happy Valentines.
I'm not entirely nice. ):
Its not exactly unexpected.
When answers are meaningless cause you no longer believe.
Things that meant most lost their meanings, trust betrayed and feelings scared. But thats only 1 reason to be down. I've got about 362783 other reasons to be the happiest person on earth. ((:
My actions are pathed and planned and I'll walk it through. ((:
Food for thought : We taste and feel and see the truth. We do not reason ourselves into it.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/14/2006 11:14:00 PM
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Monday, February 13
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
You're all I need, my love, my ValentineHappy Valentines all you lovebirds. (:
Otherwise, its just too much trouble than its worth.
I miss the St Nicks hype, when it actually seemed totally worth it to do all this time and money sapping stuff. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/13/2006 08:33:00 PM
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Sunday, February 12
Where feelings dont matter
Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind
The worries are washed out to sea
See the changes, people's faces blurred out
Like sunspots or raindrops
Now all those feelings,
Those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time
But today I’ve wasted away, for
today is on my mind
-The Used
Not exactly, but its a good song. And I wasted today cutting stacks upon stacks of newspapers then playing 3D snake on my phone for which I'll pay the price for for the next 8 hours or so.
Gosh, I'm tired. Dont tell me I deserve it.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/12/2006 10:08:00 PM
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Even if I could give up on the world;
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/12/2006 06:26:00 PM
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Save it for later
I cant afford to save forever for you anymore.
I know touch isnt everything, but it'll do just for now.
I just read 3 weeks worth of newspaper at one shot and made a newspaper bed with it just for kicks.
I need you here like you've always been.
Havent been around Por and Pam and Feng and all that people I love since recent. ): I promise the next time I'm free, I'll come by for the long overdue hug.
I'm reading your note, over again, and theres not a word that I comprehend. Except when you signed it I will love you, always.
But I dont think I can leave with this in mind.
I WANT I WANT I WANT!
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/12/2006 04:50:00 PM
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The broken seal
I dont know what the signs point to, but I'm not following it anymore. All its done so far is led me to disaster anyway.
"Far away in the sunshine are my highest inspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see the beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead."
– Louisa May Alcott
So whats yours?
Everytime we go kayaking, my teammates amaze with with their extraordinary kayaking powers. When I look at them carry that immensely heavy kayak (but its not all that heavy now, I'll like to think I've improved) and striding along, theres this wow-feeling bubbling within me. And thanks to they're awesome powers, I CAN ROW! HA! (In case you didnt know, it means capsize and turn yourself back up). :D My next goal is the eskimo row. (:
Valentines day is known as friendship day only for losers, and for mega losers, they're just known as tuesdays. (Changtai, Jem Ho) Haha, its not entirely true, but it was kind of amusing. (:
Purple is my colour this Valentines Day, just so you know! (:
Sorry, but hanging around at little corners pealing peanuts and drinking is just about as retarded at it gets. You might as well add in the ah beng squats and flip flops. I dont mind the drinking (Yes, I dont think its good, but I dont disapprove) its the hanging about that bugs.
Its not really that hard to be happy. (:
I wondered if that was the kind of life I wanted to lead.
And whats it with cab stealers? I think they're absolutely disgusting and should have other cab stealers attacking their cabs every single time, just for retribution. So their time is precious, and the rest of us just sit and gaze into space. They rank just about there in the list of people who deserved to be jailed but are not.
Goalkeepers are the bravest being on earth. (: They actually plan to fall with their hands not on the ground but to the ball. I found the Bolton goalkeeper impressive yesterday and Chelsea's horrendous loss came as a nice surprise. And its been quite long since man u did rather well. And because of all that soccer excitement yesterday, I woke up just as my econs tutor steped into the house and made a big show of pretending I was awake all the while.
Somehow I knew it the moment I opened eyes and realized I was late. Yesterday was the day I was waiting for quite a long time. (:
We're taking this way too slow,
take me away from here.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/12/2006 01:05:00 PM
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Friday, February 10
It couldnt be, could it?
This afternoon, I scared myself with my temper. And I didnt see how you still understood. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/10/2006 08:55:00 PM
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And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes, you can't make it on your own.
I dont live for the weekends anymore.
Congrats chen enen, anna and zoe, you guys did awesome. Or maybe the star did hear my wish for you that night. (:
Well, that didnt hurt so much.
But it shouldnt, not at all.
I'm at a place called vertigo
It's everything I wish I didn't know
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/10/2006 06:42:00 PM
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Thursday, February 9
I'll pay for it with my two bare hands.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm too self-indulgent.
I think its time for a nice long break. If I had a second go at last year again, I dont think AJ would have been my choice once more. Which is sad isnt it? Whats supposed to be the time of my life with all the activities and maturity and all that excitment turns out to be a mistake. Perhaps I'm just too greedy to be satisfied. St Nicks was the GREATEST desision of my life, and though I cant remember 75% of what went on, I love my Pri School and would give an arm and a leg to live it through again. Then again, theres 10 more months to change all this, and I guess theres no harm in hoping that ultimately, JC wont turn out to be my regret.
I dont feel safe. To be very honest, I'm very scared.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/09/2006 08:54:00 PM
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In the end, it doesnt really matter.
I was drained beyond my capabilities today. Thursdays are my challenge days as I strive to not be defeated by the sleeping aura and today, I lost in just about every single lessons. Its unfair really, I try so hard to stay awake, honestly I do.
I get so irritated so easily lately. I dont know, I hate not liking things though. :/
To match my general mood of today, tonight should be a starless night.
Teachers who conduct lessons (seemingly or not. Image is almost everything ) without preparation irk me.
If you want to be somebody else,
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind.
Have you ever danced in the rain?
Or thanked the sun, just for shining?
And yeah, you look much better,
Look much better when you glow
Sounds simple enough. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/09/2006 07:04:00 PM
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That thing you do
And while you're grousing on there not being any hot girls in AJ, just think, there arent any hot guys either.
To be fair, I guess there must be times when I irritate you as well.
Pimple outbreaks should be banned at the age of eighteen
Soccer under the stars - I could do that everyday then use up every ounce of disipline in me not to fall dead asleep and wishing with every fibre of my being that I could be sleeping right this instant.
It was a good starry night today. Pity no one notices or cares anymore. No one but me. (:
But it felt so right, until we realized what went wrong.
Tomorrows gonna be tough, 2 hours of GP awaits together with all the great tutorials and haiyo, I give up, complaining about school is a waste of time. Haha, sometimes I find myself enjoying it really.
Sorry, I'm a little of a prude. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/09/2006 12:18:00 AM
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Tuesday, February 7
You and I in a little toy shop
Buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got
Set them free at the break of dawn
'till one by one they were gone
Back at base, sparks in the software
Flash the message "something's out there"
Floating in the summer sky
Ninety nine red balloons go by
I promise we'll do this someday soon. ((: Have an exciting eighteen Dary twinnie waryl! Thanks for always being there. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/07/2006 10:40:00 PM
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Monday, February 6
If you're lucky, I will be your last regret
I led the life of a delinquent today and I'm paying the price for it now.
Polyclinics are a fraud, someone complain to the government quick. It was a mini-AJ reunion there together with disapproving uncles and ponning policemen and ah-bengs needing MCs for their gang meetings.
I'm not greedy, all I need is a little winny binny bit to fly over the moon. (:
I saw the picture of me and I almost believed I was as happy as I looked.
My GP teacher is one oddball, she dictated my GP essay into something out of a colouring book complete with doodles. And that is supposed to facilitate my learning and her marking? :/
Speaking of weird teachers, I MISS ALICE TEO!
Okay okay, this is serious now.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/06/2006 06:20:00 PM
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Sunday, February 5
For all the misplaced faith
Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own instead of someone else's.
This star is way out of place.
And I had this most brilliant plan, but now it doesnt seem so brilliant anymore.
I ask myself : have I been there?
But, I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say
But, I believe in you so much
I could die from the words that you say
But, you’re chasin’ the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
Is getting away from you again
While you’re chasin’ ghosts
Just bend the pieces ‘till they fit
Like they were made for it
But, they weren’t meant for this
No, they weren’t meant for this
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/05/2006 10:27:00 PM
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I can make all the stadiums rock
I guess only you've noticed.
You shouldnt have been the one who understood, or the one who cared. But thank God he gave me you. (:
I couldnt bring myself to go tonight.
And this afternoon, I'm really sorry Little Feng, HAPPY HAPPY EIGHTEEN baybeh!
I should have got my head out of the clouds and my feet firmly back on the ground. It'll come to naught, I knew it all along.
I plan each day to be a happy day, but today I took a little break.
My jnrs came over yesterday but I didnt manage to make much time for them. :( Soon is the key word.
Soon, all this will cease to exist.
Haha, that sounded just a bit suicidal.
I am a strong girl.
I almost bit my fingers off.
Because of you,
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/05/2006 07:11:00 PM
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I will not compromise,
I don't like living lies.
And at least that's how it happened in my mind
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/05/2006 02:19:00 AM
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Saturday, February 4
How it feels to be alone and not believe, anything
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/04/2006 04:07:00 PM
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Stuck on Repeat.
Your perfect life shouldnt annoy me.
I spent some time playing everything on rewind, wishing just a little bit and killing some creeps.
I do so many things with my time, but theres so much more I'd rather be doing.
History lectures are a blur. I go in and waste a little pen and highlighter ink and i doubt 30% of anything actually goes in. LIt lessons are non-existant and Econ still takes the cake, though the holiday homework still bugs me just a little. And GP, oh my goodness.
And everyday I look forward to school, detest school like crazy, dread school ending, put my heart and soul into ODAC or weedle my time away by studying / going out with my friends, then come home only to look forward to school again. This cycle is dreadfully annoying.
In any normal person's life, today and the many many days before would have been stated as a happy day.
I'm with you darling.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/04/2006 08:26:00 AM
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Friday, February 3
The Butterfly Effect
Funny joke of the day > All our mums cooked, but lets go out for dinner together anyway. ((:
And I didnt do TOO bad for cross country, and ODAC should be paid for services, we'll be rich. (:
Congrats Por! (:
Shouldnt have gone back, but the breeze alone was good. (:
Somehow I knew that you were waiting for me. (:
I'm not exactly TOO happy, but I felt it was necessary to include all those (:
I would, if only I could.
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/03/2006 08:49:00 PM
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Thursday, February 2
You're right, this doesnt concern me. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/02/2006 10:34:00 PM
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Wednesday, February 1
For a moment like this
Ok ok, its not like this I think too much. -breathes in for luck
Super tired. (: And happily so. Maybe without the disgusting newspapers pilling up under my table.
No, I wont let this crumble, not this time, not again. ((:
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/01/2006 10:16:00 PM
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This is a picture of Daryl and his guitar! Its freaking cute aint it? (: I think he has a secret talent for these rather than those hot penguines of his. ((: