I guess the question that I've been pondering over would be: why are some people just buay paisae and buay zi dong?
I think I'm hard to live with. People always say that in hopes of hearing otherwise "No, you're (insert compliment here)". But I do mean it- I'm hard to live with, unless I really like you. Even if I'm okay with you or I think you're a nice person, it doesnt mean I'm able to enjoy living with with. I use enjoy because it might be possible that I'm willing and able (by our mutual compromise) to live with you. But it is very likely I would rather be alone. No, I am not referring to my current living situation- The milo peng Victoria makes more than makes up for everything. And I know she deals with my inadequacies in her own way. But recently I feel like I have to put myself on hold to fit into society and the proper norms governing society. And I hate it. I hate having to be nice. Or worst, I hate having to feel bad that I'm 'not nice enough'. Because really, I dont think being nice should be an obligation. But I can't get over myself if I'm not.
I won't deny that I can be rather cold if you don't know me, but I never see the point in pretending to be closer to anyone. Its not that I'm accusing people of being fake- all I'm saying is that I enjoy being left to my own devices and if I'm not particularly attracted to you, I would prefer that that feeling be mutual and not create this illusion that we're chummy chummy cuddle cuddle snuggle snuggle buddies. And therefore to conclude this long ranting post, I don't want to just exist with people, I don't need company just because and I don't need social groups that don't need me.
My penchant for all things beautiful and idealistic makes me a very hard-to-manage person. I am critical, honest and yet not judgement. I can deal with the imperfections of life beautifully. I know what I want and yet I am easy going. I'm a irony personified. In essence, although nothing really bothers me, those that do, bothers me intensely. For example, my olfactory functions with utmost sensitivity as with my OCD for clean feet.
Maybe its part of my virgo-istic* nature- if I can't have anything in perfection, I'd rather not have anything at all.
*I didn't use to believe in horoscopes, just like how I didn't use to believe that people can change without reason- but now I somewhat do for both cases.
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/30/2010 10:24:00 AM |
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Thursday, January 28
Maybe I should have listened to my 'better judgement' and left after fall so I don't have to sweat under my Eskimo baby (winter jacket!) in the day and freeze under the same one at night. Maybe I sort of deserve it by being a walking irony in my tshirt and shorts and slippers and winter jacket. But between soggy jeans and freezing toes, I'm picking the latter.
BUT, I'm well into week 4 and I must say its been so much more than expected. Kudos to Victoria (who is currently story telling to the credit card company) and the awesome people around. And I keep getting more and more excited for Florida and Hawaii!
Anyway, the most important point is even though I STILL have yet to map modules, I've finally booked my flight back home!
Oh, well I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong, And where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me. But these places and these faces are getting old. I said these places and these faces are getting old, So I'm going home. I'M GOING HOME! (:
Theres an upset in my throat, somewhat like the feeling (I imagine) of having a fur ball caught. But there really isn't anything to be upset about. Life is so good (it should be for the price I'm paying) and I'm more like a full time philosopher and photo editor than any bit of a student. Even the rainy weather isn't getting me down or my jeans wet.
But of course I can't sulk all day. My roommate and skypemates are way too funny.
Chicken curry! We are truly staying true to our roots! Haha, Canbe and I made this while Sam tried to destroy it. I am proud of me really, even thought I just had to go on ehow.com to find out how to make hard boil eggs. Even so, I still managed, with the help of Lewis and Victoria, to ruin 5 eggs first before reaching the perfect one.
To date there is only one pianist that can make me cry when I see or hear his work. I miss those familiar strong hands with that same old lousy red watch.
Today my Global Conflict professor had this ex US army personnel, a young guy of about 25, tell us about his participation in the Afghanistan war. Its actually sad, the way politics play out sometimes and I've watched so many videos criticizing the US actions in Indonesia, Haiti, Afghanistan etc it actually would be kind of depressing if I were a citizen here. And I have a reflection paper to write on Global & Resistance so I shalln't elaborate.
But Victoria's nice little friend Aries is staying over and I'm excited at the things we wanna do. But the finances aren't exactly bountiful and the readings threaten to tip over. But still, skiing at Lake Tahoe, biking cross the golden gate, outlet frenzy, Sea World at San Diego, Yellowstone or better yet, Death Vally, etc. The possibilities are as much as my stationary collection. This, I think, is the best part of the US of A. There are so many fun things to do, in and out doors, touristy and laidback and just so many things to see. But when I think of Singapore I have no idea what to do that I havent already done 72 times over. I almost think I can live here and have adventures every other day. But dont worry, home is still home and I will return to claim my Laksa treats.
Today, I found the precise moment when I felt the most secure. (:
He promised that the rain will past, The day will soon be fair. And I never was afraid because Hes always there.
I think I outlived my student life. I can't help but want to file for graduation like the rest of my friends because really, I'm not studying very much, hardly at all. I love what I hear in class. But I can't read or write about the same thing for more than 15 mins and I'm pretty sure I'm suffering from late developmental Attention deficient disorder. Exchange is the perfect cover up, but if this is the case in NUS, I can kick myself out of school.
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/21/2010 05:31:00 AM |
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If you can find someone who has less discipline and focus than me, I think you found the most ill disciplined person in the world. Victoria probably wanted to murder me in my sleep cause my alarm clock kept going off every 15 minutes or so.
Am extremely, extremely tempted to go to the Rugby 7s 2010 at Vegas on the 13-14 Feb! Am not, however keen to take the trip down memory lane and that 9 hour Greyhound alone once again.
Wong Yilin (or anyone really), I would totally spring for tickets for you if you're willing to go with me.
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/19/2010 11:10:00 AM |
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Had half a mind to not upload any pictures of me and Charlie, but I couldn't erase and undo everything because he was such a big part of my exchange life last quarter.
The sun and nice and sunny and I want to go to the beach and sit there all day with my book on deviance. Better yet, without my book on deviance.
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/19/2010 06:43:00 AM |
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Theres a reason why people don't stay who they are Baby sometimes, love just ain't enough.
JULIEN: You know, there were lots of things I was game for that you never said.
SOPHIE: Like? JULIEN: Eating ants. Insulting the unemployed. Loving you like crazy.
- Julien Janvier (Guillaume Canet) & Sophie Kowalsky (Marion Cotillard),
Jeux d’Enfants
Maybe I don't like the rain so much now because I can't walk to IV to collect my reader.
Been having dreams every night since 2 weeks ago I think. Its vivid, its nothing too bad, but I do miss plain and simple rest. I woke up again in the midst of my dream today at 1030am despite having full intentions to sleep in. Maybe this body clock that is long overdue is finally growing in me. Which I must say I am both grateful for and annoyed at.
Theres a hollow empty pit at the bottom of my stomach and theres a growing longing that needs to disappear.
This is one of my favourite songs, previously I never quite understood what it was actually talking about but I find it extremely apposite to my current state of mind. I would post the original video by Patty Smyth but I found the remade music video extremely disturbing and I could not locate the old version. Plus this is acoustic and I love acoustic.
It makes a sound like thunder, it makes me feel like rain. And like a fool who will never see the truth, I keep thinking something's gonna change.
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/19/2010 03:07:00 AM |
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Monday, January 18
Having such a backache and sore right calf from skiing and a patch of unknown ugly blotches on my thigh that is quite worrying.
Its gonna be nice and rainy in Santa Barbara the whole next week. Aside from that I dont have the fashionable rainboots that everyone has and hence will have to suffer from wet, soggy and cold feet (and we all know how much I hate freezing toes), I actually like the pitter patter of the rain, the nice weather indoors so I can wear my new pajamas and a chance to use the zebra print umbrella I bought specially for Seattle.
Because I know you probably have no clue who Clinton Sills is, I am going to introduce my rugby version of Christiano Ronaldo to you. Young, talented, speedy, thick neck and oh so good looking, hes on the Australian 7s team. It helps that he is the fullback and fullbacks are almost always extra cool. He has been with me since I caught him on TV sometime in Vietnam last year and all he has done is got better and more good looking.
Couldn't get a solo clip of him but this is the Dubai 7 best tries (my favourite is the Kenyans who ironically didnt display the expected speed). And okay Clinton Sills could have passed the ball but he tried and his burst is jaw dropping so that makes up for it.
(In case its semi blocked on your browser, you can watch it here)
I miss Rugby so much I almost want to go back to the UCSB team except that I end classes at 615 here on Mon-Thurs and 615pm here is the equivalent of 10pm in Singapore so everything is more or less over. Doesnt help that the Singapore Women Rugby 7s is starting in 3 weeks and looking at the familiar names playing leaves me feeling more incomplete then ever.
Which, I suppose, is good because I actually am dead set to do ALL my readings before the last week of school- I can't get away on personal opinion so much with all the Sociology classes I'm doing this quarter.
Just like a faucet that leaks/ And there is comfort in the sound
I impressed myself (because everyone was too busy falling down to notice) with my awesome skiing and snowboarding skills at Big Bear. My ability to pick up these 2 sports is borderline unbelievable. Okay so I'm pushing it slightly, but for a self-taught skier and a person whose break on the snowboard was perviously her ass/wrist, being able to zoom down the hill with control and turns and actually STOP on the skis/board, I think I'm pretty damn good.
Canbe let me drive all 1 min of the way home today which was pretty damn brave of him considering I didnt know which pedal was the break.
To name your favourite soccer player, who would it be?
XY: Fernando Torres, because he is one of the most good-looking soccer players. Although I know I will have no chance of getting hitched with him, I admire his technical abilities. I hope to emulate his style and approach in the game and bring glory to Eusoff Hall in the upcoming IHG.
This seriously cracked me up. I miss the little team manager with the biggest spirit.
And I miss all the ups and downs of the interhall games. The non-hall people will never understand what it means to wear the same colour and cheer on/ play all 15 different sports for everyday for a month that many took so long to prepare for.
So while I'm feeling strong, I'll sing you one last song.
Because Victoria is whinning, I'm compelled to say that DJ Chang and DJ Leong were great successes on our way up.
After a 4 hour-ish, 5 hour long journey, Van is now waiting for the heater to heat to up and the boys to come back from the grocery store with something more than cigarettes. Its ironic that we travelled a good way away from SB and turn yet again to the world wide web. We're actually supposed to reconnect with nature but its too way cold outside and the readings are not exactly a big welcome sign. But I am already behind by a good few hundred pages of reading and thats exactly what I intent to spend my Martin Luther King day doing.
The boys have been so awesome giving in to our every whim and even taking care to warn us about every change in air pressure. I feel almost bad being the biggest noncontributer in the car and now cabin. So I went out and bought firewood the fireplace is happy and crackling but not warm for some reason.
The oven baked pizza, the sake cooking on the stove, the Victoria in her FBTs sleeping beside me and the light Grape juice Josh bought for me is evidence that fate (or if you prefer, the hands of God) works in mysterious ways.
And theres nothing I can tell her to make her feel alright.
In a little bit, I will be happily asleep in Canbe's car sleeping while we make our way up Big Bear to ski/snowboard/roll down again.
I'm actually secretly afraid cause my left foot still whines occasionally and I'm not extremely atheltic on boards, but I'm sure I'm going to look something like this :
Can't wait! We've got a cabin, its going to be cozy and I hope the stars shine as bright. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/16/2010 07:59:00 AM |
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Friday, January 15
My mother is so funny she made me laugh so uncontrollably for the first time in a long time. Despite what she tells me about the media promoting facebook for senior citizens and her being fully qualified to own an account, I am not adding her as my friend on facebook.
I feel like going to Haiti, because being physically there will change my life in a way that no amount of reports can. And hopefully, maybe, I could change a few lives while I'm there.
Apparently, this website is supposedly a reliable place, but I'd very much rather give directly to the old lady on the street. (Not in America cause I think they'll just blow it on smoke which goes right back into my lungs) Its not like I'm heartless or too materialistic (which I won't deny), but helping is helping and at least I'm helping someone.
I woke up early (I really mean early like 9am not 12 pm) specially to go running but I decided not to cause Qiu wanted to skype. In return, she told me my face "really look chubbier".
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/15/2010 07:02:00 AM |
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Victoria's idea of happiness is probably the first treat.
Porie, this is for you! Too bad machine nowadays only eat your coins up and give you false hopes of a sandwich. (Man, I miss the sandwich machine in the library!)
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/15/2010 01:11:00 AM |
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Thursday, January 14
This girl can't facebook or read blogspots. And we didnt spend as much time as I should have last quarter and I dont think I can make much amendments.
I dont know how long distance relationships work out, I've always even had problems with close distance relations.
This isnt quite a goodbye post. This is a I'm sorry I didnt get to be closer to you and I will see you in Hongkong where we will mai dong xi chi dong xi together post.
Qiaozhi FINALLY sent me those songs I want and I am melting in my library chair and refusing to get my huge (I have officially put on so much weight, its no joke) ass to Sociology of Deviance class. (: Thank you Mr Happy, that made me very happy haha.
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/14/2010 07:06:00 AM |
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And breathing is a foreign task and thinking's just too much to ask and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.
So this is odd, again I go unnoticed.
I've crashed 9 classes the past week and this week is when the professors decided they've had their fill of amusement from panicking students hyperventilating on the lecture floor and hand out add codes. And I've gotten 8 out of 9 classes I want because the last 1 is so intensely boring I had to drop out of it once I secured my 4th class. So Van will be happily studying this quarter in her very cozy place a good 25 min walk away from school. (:
Or she will be once Canbe and Josh gets her internet hooked up.
Life is faughtless, when you're thoughtless. Those who dont try, never look foolish. -Fiyero
I was never one to care how people looked at or thought of me. So people judge you. Big deal really.
But when I'm in the midst of being silly, I sometimes feel I'm disappointing people who care about me, who thought I was brighter than that, and worst, I feel like I am supposed to be better than that and I feel let down by myself. It is then I have to write an email to this person I know loves me because I'm this silly. (:
One of the benefits of having a failed fall/winter romance in a place 9000 miles away from home is that when you return to people (and places) who belong in real life, everything seems so far away
[1/14/10 AM 02:59:35] Grace Wong:
i not-very-secretly can;t wait for you to come back
I really am not supposed to return to my old ways of the proper teenager sleeping habit because I want to keep my my good work for the first week of school- I've not woken up beyond 1030. But Sam's game was entertaining and funny and it actually stopped me from falling asleep.
But I just had to share this with you. I think this version is the best I've heard.
Carve your name into my heart, better than a tattoo or photograph
You're very welcomed to propose to me with this Leica M7 Limited Hermès instead of a ring I might lose. Or you could give it to me just because you think I'm awesome.
Its retailing at about US$12000 now (and only 100 of these babies running around in the world) and when Vic heard that our conversation went as such:
Vic: Siao, can buy the bag already!
Van: You want a bag over a camera that you can actually use?
Vic: Yes you have to get your priorities right.
Or if you're principally set against anything orange, theres also army green! But I'd rather this white one.
Ironic how we came all the way, halfway across the world, and try so hard to find a piece of home here. Karaoke, chinese food (had my first Cantonese 'breakfast' today- my grandma will be proud) and honeydew sago (I completely cleaned out my cup and am secretly Sam's as I type) has me completely won over.
But if home is what makes us happiest, why are we here in the first place? When I signed up for this I envisioned living independently, soaking in the California culture, mingling with the Rugby girls and kind of getting the experience of what it would be to actually live here. But it isnt so, people stick to what they're comfortable with, it sometimes doesn't make sense to me.
But I cant deny the honeydew sago is the best thing of the week. (:
The needs I can't declare, the dreams I can't deny, You'll see it all at once if only you would find
I attended 7 lessons yesterday back to back save for a 45 min break and all my lessons have so much to reflect upon its great actually. (Well, all except Studying people- this soci fieldwork module which the prof can actually make field work sound extremely dreadful. And if not the fact I'm desperate, I would have left and not come back after the first 2 mins.) Suddenly the value of lessons have risen.
Small things can spoil so many things and leave permanent damage on things that took so long to achieve. Like the extra lemon juice that killed Vincent's cheesecake yesterday that took so much effort to make. Or like when you miss a kint. or lose a piece of the 9271 puzzle you've completed. I always thought that was in a warp, unworldly way, kind of unfair that great amounts of effort could be damaged so easily. This theory also works for emotions, especially trust. Trust grows slowly, like an apple tree. But once someone plucks the apple, it can no longer be the same. This was what I used to think, but now I see the flaw in my imagery. Cause many apples grow on one tree.
Despite not wanting to, or perhaps knowing its something I cant conclude and hence avoiding, I go over things in my head a little bit before I catch myself.
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/09/2010 02:12:00 AM |
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Friday, January 8
Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? (Matthew 6:27:27)
By this line, it really means that however amount of worrying you do cannot add any positive benefits to your life emotionally or physically. Grace told me once (and I will remember forever) that God once us to leave our worries at the cross. Which is what many people do when they pray and ask for something. But once we leave the church or end the prayer session, we pick up those worries we laid down and carry about our lives. "My friend, when you worry, you are actually believing that the devil has the power to make inroads into your life that God cannot protect you from." (Pastor J Prince) I'm not the emblem of even an average Christian (I only found out recently what a manger is) and so I find myself keep having to remind myself of how I should be above worries such as not having enough classes, or not being able to feel contented.
Its coming to the end of the 1st week of school but as of now, I have 2 classes I actually can take and I'm running for 2 more (I actually want 3, but I might as well ask for a piece of cloud) and I've crashed about 8 classes but the hopes are slim because in the undergraduate's words, "the department is small and we're over-enrolled" and theres "nothing I can do about it". All this while I was explaining to her that if I don't get ANY sociology classes I will get kicked out of the States (Okay fine, I exaggerated a little. I just have to delay graduation/ work harder in coming sems). Maybe she just grew numb to pathetic students because shes seen many, but I could have given better 'advice' in my sleep.
Also i'm appalled because what on Earth is "over-enrolled?". I've had it as far as America (and Canada actually) systems of inefficiency with the overselling of train, bus and even airplane tickets, but places in school? Students here are paying 42% more school fees (which are already exorbitant as it is) for less classes and I can barely believe that people stand for the atrocities of this. But petitions have been done, walk outs held and protests organizes, all to nil effect and I kind of feel sorry for these people but at the same time, all so thankful for Singapore. Because small and moutainless as we are, we live in a society of genuine people (even though some of them are horrible) and efficiency to the point its scary and even impersonal. And when we want the great outdoors or some 500 year old culture, we can buy a plane ticket that has close to 0 chances of being oversold and staffed with helpful people who will not shrug off responsibilities such as missing baggage and fly somewhere. I dont think very many people here can take a hiatus to fair treatment.
I guess all the NUS people are wailing about CORS right now- the bidding system that allocates modules. And if it helps, at least you're guaranteed 5 classes and at least some of them are classes you actually wanted to take. If all else fails, the Arts & Social Science department is pretty decent, I miss calling them up for everything.
In a few moments I am going to have to petition to take grad classes here and my Sociology skills are hardly mature so I'm not exactly thrilled. But as I am on the verge of being kicked out of school if I dont get enough stuff to study, I don't have the luxury of choice.
Then after running around school for an average of 10 hours a day (today its a record at 12! 12! I have like 15 hours of school a week at NUS), I find my longing for comfort and understanding and even company missing. So this week hasnt been all that rosy.
I fell in love because the skies turned from gray to blue.
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/08/2010 04:35:00 AM |
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Thursday, January 7
I think this was about 500 years ago.
There's a girl in my mirror I wonder who she is Sometimes I think I know her Sometimes I really wish I did
If I could I would tell her Not to be afraid The pain that she's feeling That sense of loneliness will fade So dry your tears and rest assured Love will find you like before When she's looking back at me I know nothing really works that easily
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/07/2010 04:24:00 AM |
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uloveucsb.blogspot.com In the first place was the "same again" somewhere we want to belong to?
Its quickly falling on the beautiful scale and rapidly soaring on the disaster scale. Am not a fan of looking back, but I'm such a comparer.
Class crashing is killing me, I even looked up MATH class. And of course it was full.
I could spend all day looking at photographs, and pictures and graphics, mindless and intelligent ones alike.
I suspect the Burj Khalifa, just like all the other tall buildings that we flock too, is overrated. I wouldnt ever want to live in a city-building where you never have to get out of the building for anything at all. That would be be claustrophobic, unnecessary and I foresee Dubai running a research on the number of people who became overweight ever since living in that building.
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/07/2010 03:49:00 AM |
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Wednesday, January 6
I employ magical thinking.
This time, its the last time, I'm giving 3 days and 1 something-that-resembles-a-heart, promise.
Now aint that sweet? Not particularly practical especially when graduation awaits round the bend, but an idealistic part of me sings in tune of this.
I LOVE CORS, always did anyway. If you're still bitching about it, you should know that the UCSB GOLD system is about 7 times worst and I've been crashing 5 sociology classes in hopes of one and so far my chances hover at the 0 mark.
Even after years and years, I think of you ever so often and kind of everyday. Its not like we havent moved on, we both have and I wish you every happiness possible. I just couldnt conjure a reply adequate to put whatever I felt in words.
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/06/2010 10:58:00 AM |
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If you don't think the new scanners are going to work, you'll consider it a waste of time. But if it does, it could save the world (or building or train or whatever) So stop being a whiner about it, theres a lot more things that the government could have wasted your money on.
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/06/2010 12:53:00 AM |
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Sunday, January 3
“Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” (Hebrews 10:17:17)
And this is why man fall short. We cant even forget the simplest of let downs. Gods grace is so undeserved and unmerited it sometimes become so taken for granted. Martin Luther King said that everyday he needs to preach the gospel of grace because everyday, he forgets, and MLK is absolutely right. But God reminded me he loves me when he gave me the beautiful sunny Seattle day I asked for last night. Which is super rare cause it rains 226 days per year here, especially in winter.
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/03/2010 11:13:00 AM |
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Saturday, January 2
The firsts go away- first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones.
-Sarah Jessica Parker
After 6 hours, I stopped dancing in the rain. I trudged endlessly for 3 hours in search for the University of Washington. My urban outfitter sneakers threatened to give way under all my weight so I gave up the search and did what any sensible girl would do- hop on the bus for some downtown shopping. And I didnt buy anything so that proves my theory that I've spent so much I cant possibly spend more.
Its probably going to rain tomorrow as well, but nothing is going to stand in my way of me and my seafood.
I pride myself on my powers of ratiocination, but you have me in a muddle puddle.
The holidays have gone by too fast, too expensively.
For it is true: the more you love life, the more or will love you right back.
Exploring the streets in the pushy wind and heavy persistant drizzle is exactly what I want to do the first day of every year. (: Seattle is lovely, a rich blend of the grown and the growing. And they weren't kidding about the coffee- a pretty cafe pounces on you every 7m of the way.
And all of them have free wifi so technically I'm not so alone. Haha but I love it how everytime I'm on my own 2 feet, my survival instincts magically appear and I manage things people usually do for me. For example navigation and seletction of rest times. And not having to wait for late friends for hours on end. Haha but I do love traveling with friends, they make the boringest things exciting. And if it's Vic, a comedy show. We're the next huang sha ye feng by the way, and hannah's Lydia, our guest star who hosts 'the low down' that is educational and entertaining all in one. Yes, we had to entertain ourseles on Vancouver,BC to that extent.
Can people really give unconditionally? I'm sure some can, but me?
My iPhone is steadily gaining the honour of being one of the best things my dad has given me. And my dad has given me just about everything. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/02/2010 05:22:00 AM |
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Friday, January 1
I already have a cheaper alternative for fisheye and I've also spent a decent amount since I've been in the US and still looking to travel to Florida, Hawaii and Mexico. On all accounts, I should not be thinking of The Nikon Fisheye 10.5mm-F/2.8. But in accordance with the law of human nature (or at least mine) the more difficult it is for something to come by, better it appears to be. And this is definitely looking up. Especially since I injured my baby and now the lense can no longer stay on the body. ): I am distraught. And do hope repairs wont burn a hole in my (my daddy's to be exact) pocket because I am already spending so much money it is ridiculous.
In fact, my lovely POSB mastercard has broken possibly as we were having the time of our lives rolling down Whistler. Luckily the magnetic strip is still in tact so I can still breathe for now. I'm considering if I should ask my mum to apply me a new one and send that over. Because not only will I have to survive approximately 1/2 a month without a card, there is a high chance that my mother might decide not to send one over and make me live on my other, non credit card account that would actually save my father a fortune.
Why, oh why do all my things have to be of the rough and tumble variety?
Woopdeedo! Van is glad to be back in the USA, surfing on an internet connection that lasts more than 5 mins and seeing more than 20 people on the streets at any given point of time. Green Tortoise is living up it its name of the 4th best hostel in the US and so far I'm very satisfied, especially since I've been having fears of being sent back to Canada (the horror!) cause water was split on my DS-2019 and the chop was smudged. Also, I put myself in a mixed dorm of 8 and was worried about weird guys stealing my underwear but so far everyone seems nice and all I've got was this guy inviting me to use to toilet with him, but I'm quite sure he was drunk. So all is good (except that I spilt water in my adidas yet again.) and I cannot wait to explore the coffee capital of the world tomorrow!
2009 is has been truly blessed and I'm sure 2010 will outdo it spectacularly. Charlie says he doesnt believe in new years cause no calendar has the right to claim accuracy. Personally I dont care very much about precision: a new year is important to me just as a birthday is- a sign post in life. It was a year of many firsts and its almost for sure this will be the same in 2010. For the first time, I didnt count down to the new year and even now I have no idea what the time actually it. But I'm cozy and happy huddled in my little bunk.
I still try to do resolutions even though so far I've never carried any through. And this year I decided to beat the crowds and make my resolution early. So far its going good and I cant wait to get back to Santa Barbara to start my keep in shape programme. And the cliche "round is a shape" no longer makes me laugh cause it is rapidly coming true. My face is a glowing, perfect full moon except that I now have red pikachu-like cheeks from either the sun or the cold (you know when you turn rapidly warm after being cold)
This is me in Times Square in case you forgot how I look like and do not have facebook (Go sign up for one now so I can stalk you)
Chicken curry! We are truly staying true to our roots! Haha, Canbe and I made this while Sam tried to destroy it. I am proud of me really, even thought I just had to go on ehow.com to find out how to make hard boil eggs. Even so, I still managed, with the help of Lewis and Victoria, to ruin 5 eggs first before reaching the perfect one.
Who says love cannot be bought? (: 
I impressed myself (because everyone was too busy falling down to notice) with my awesome skiing and snowboarding skills at Big Bear. My ability to pick up these 2 sports is borderline unbelievable. Okay so I'm pushing it slightly, but for a self-taught skier and a person whose break on the snowboard was perviously her ass/wrist, being able to zoom down the hill with control and turns and actually STOP on the skis/board, I think I'm pretty damn good.
I already have a cheaper alternative for fisheye and I've also spent a decent amount since I've been in the US and still looking to travel to Florida, Hawaii and Mexico. On all accounts, I should not be thinking of The Nikon Fisheye 10.5mm-F/2.8. But in accordance with the law of human nature (or at least mine) the more difficult it is for something to come by, better it appears to be. And this is definitely looking up. Especially since I injured my baby and now the lense can no longer stay on the body. ): I am distraught. And do hope repairs wont burn a hole in my (my daddy's to be exact) pocket because I am already spending so much money it is ridiculous.
