Friday, March 31
And all I need to know is that I'm something you'll be missingI know the answer, I swear I do. Something stupid in me just keeps wishing you'll tell me anyway.
Innovation and Enterprise day went surprisingly fun today. (: Econs game was funny. I think we all estabished that if you dig your pi sai, its just gross.
I watched my first M18 - The Hills Have Eyes- show today. And like good law-abiding citizens we are, we couldnt bring ourselves to go in sneakily. So we checked. And just so Gary and everyone knows, you are admitted into M18 shows by year and not day of birth, so I guess what Gary saw was just an imaginary "cheeky i-know-ur-not-supposed-to-be-here wink" :)
It was a pretty good show I felt. And as with such triller slap-shocks shows, I was screaming solo. Though in my defense, the theater was pretty empty. And Alan and Shenglong are such nice rock steady, un-scared and un-moving and totally stoically calm thriller movie watching friends. (: Although I cannot understand how they can enjoy munching on popcorn when the most disgusting rape scene is flashing before their eyes (Dont get your hopes just, nothings exposed). And Shenglong's crunching in time with chewing of the parrot on stage was disturbing lah.
Oh, the show really led me to get the horrors of rape. I mean not that I never knew that its terrifying, I just never thought it would be SO. And nuclear powers - they should be banished forever and ever. :( And the pure and very manly love of daddies and mummies!
Someone was really really unbelievably nice today, so thank you very much. ((:
So so, it was a successful ODAC outing and I'm a happy and timid girl tonight. :D
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/31/2006 10:46:00 PM
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Thursday, March 30
I'm telling you now I'm a fakeJust like I've told you so many times before. Sometimes your trust just makes me feel so bloddy guilty.
Great, 10 days to Beach Stomp and my Tau Huay partner has to grow a wart on his foot. Go away wart! I need him to kayak, swim and carry me! (Of course I need him to have a healthy and happy foot and therefore heart for that as well)
I did crappy for Term 1. Well, I'm hit by a sudden bout of panic for history, I'm completely off course and lost and amazed at every history tutorial cause Ms Ng never seems to find me out. :/ I think some serious self-disipline is in order.
People can have so warped values and beliefs I wonder how can it be possible. They can be so complicated its freaky. They can be so familiar and distant all at once. They can be so unpredictable and uncontrollable. And I thought I was the only one.
One year ago if you told me I'll turn out to be someone I am now, I'll just laugh in your face. I never imagined that I'll be so conflicted and deciteful. ): Let me put up a picture to show you how much I'm not the same.
Okay, I cant find an awful enough picture that is nice enough to not give everyone a shock. I'll save it for later then, its about time to get moving on Beloved though I'm pretty sure I wont last more than 3 minutes. I'm so tired I fall asleep while messaging almost daily. How rude is that? :/
So dont complicate it by hesitating
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/30/2006 09:44:00 PM
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And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I was really sad at one point today, could you tell? In the past, I would have been bawling my eyes out.
But you promised it'll be a good tomorrow. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/30/2006 07:42:00 PM
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Wednesday, March 29
So pack a change of clothes, 'cause it's time to move onWhen it all comes tumbling down.
I think your bruise was understated
'cause you can't feel this anymore
it's getting bluer and you can't keep faking
that you can't feel this anymore Mamihlapinatapei : 3/29/2006 10:11:00 PM
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Tuesday, March 28
I’ll be shootin’ for thrills when I walk out that door
You say it’s hard to care anymore
Every stand of muscle in my body is screaming for me to stop moving.
Sometimes I think people expect a hell load from me. I think I fight a hell load to live up to whatever you want of me. But sometimes I find out they're all a lie.
I do wonder how much time I spend awake at home. I know lying on the bed equates to instant sleep and no work done. Everytime I tell myself to give that one more go and never do learn.
You're caught up in your plastic life
Changing right before my eyes
I used to know you like the back of my mind
Did that part of you die?
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/28/2006 09:07:00 PM
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Monday, March 27
I'm moving on in a new happy song
I've got so much to be thankful for, just sometimes we fail to notice. But not today. (: Today, I'm happy because :
Clement carried my file for me,
Hazel, Limin, Chings and Teckie allowed me to test out my new found fireman lift skills
I've got new ODAC JC1 juniors
Daryl taught me how to stand up back to back properly
Gary lifted me up for chin ups
Limin accompanied me everywhere
And all this, was not because they had too. I dont know, I suddenly felt how privillaged I was to have people actually willing to do nice stuff and bend all over just to accomodate me.
We had ODAC selections today. And the process made me think of how I was last year. Soccer captain and St John OCT, not particularly well versed in the outdoors or fit or outgoing of skilled or loud (really, I was a pretty quiet uncontributive member) or a good teamplayer or leader. I guess they must have place serious doubts on my capabilities and commitment level. I'm glad though, that if I was a wild card, that I turned out pretty well today. (:
I think you are an ass.
I dont really care if you read these lyric or not, though you should cause sometimes they're not up for nothing, but regardless, I know they'll make sense to me anytime I look back at them (:
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe Mamihlapinatapei : 3/27/2006 10:22:00 PM
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Sunday, March 26
I climbed onto my rooftop tonight (and mine is a real rooftop at that), almost died on a loose tile and wshed upon the first star I saw.
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/26/2006 11:37:00 PM
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I've been there before, But I played a different part
My little Pories all grown up and -sniff sniff- running races! (:
I hope you meant it that way, but then again, I said I'll never trust anything you say.
I promise myself I'll be so strong nothing can ever bring me down.
And all I can do is protect it,
A lie for the sake of my pride.
While all the others had me thinking,
we could be more than just amazing.
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/26/2006 08:01:00 PM
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Saturday, March 25
Put a little wind in your sailFrom Changtai, I learn that I'm childlike and tactless. From Harry, I learn that I'm wrongly mannered. Say what you may, I listen and I'll see for myself the accuracy of your words. But I've received one too many comment on my new aunty look. Bleeeee.
I just realized I never had long (long enough to tie without the use of a dozen clips or so) hair before.
Forget-me-nots are not enough for me.
If I were a kite I would fly for you
If I were a ship I would sail for you
If I were a heart I would beat for you
For I would do anything for you. Mamihlapinatapei : 3/25/2006 10:21:00 PM
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I'm shocked, I have no idea who it was.
But I know who it was supposed to be.
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/25/2006 08:40:00 AM
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Friday, March 24
Noise And Kisses
I think I did really badly today as an instructor for Group 6. :( So many things I should have said and things to point out. But nope, I just had to choose today to go off focus. Wont care to elaborate.
I realise how we take things for granted - how we never seem to care that the audi's air conditions are always turned up before school hours for our comfort, how people never seem to remember how shoddily I treat them and how lucky I have to have certain (most) people strategically positioned in my life. (:
Somethings gotta give. For a history-lit student, my analysis powers seem to be pathetic.
We sound pretty bad actually, but I love hearing the ODAC people sing. I say this because we truly sound genuinely happy. :D
I have a nice cool bruise on my right forearm. I love bruises, have I told you?
Look in my eyes
I'm jaded now whatever that means
By sharing these things
I rip my heart out
It's worth my time
Whatever that means.
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/24/2006 11:14:00 PM
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Thursday, March 23
Yes, I know there's always you to come home to
I think my Thursdays are joining my Fridays on the useless days list.
I'm really quite happy now. (: Only you can make me say those things I even wanna face or admit to myself. And thats why I'm by your side, I love you POR WAN LING.
Yes, I wish chaos into the world. The inversion of order and the lack of logic. For everything and everyone to be not what and who they are right now. Every single day, I would like this very much.
Falsehoods and rumours are only as powerful as you make them out to be. But sometimes they serve as a good gossip topic and worth abit of a laugh. But thats where it should stop I guess. Easy to say, much much harder to do.
If we both hang on for long enough
We both somehow are strong enough
We'll find out where we belong
Every night this shooting star
dancing across the twilight sky
Cause he knows he doesn't quit fit in
and he's longing to know why
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/23/2006 07:57:00 PM
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Wednesday, March 22
All the letters i sent youYou'll read again tonightPlease stop doing all these things you do.
Keeping The Dream Aliveby
Munchener FreiheitI hear myself recalling
Things you said to me
The night it all started
And still the rain is falling
Makes me feel the way
I felt when we parted
The hopes we had were much too high
Way out of reach but we have to try
No need to hide no need to run
'Cause all the answers come one by one
The game will never be over
Because we're keeping the dream alive
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/22/2006 10:52:00 PM
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Tuesday, March 21
We'll look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
I'll bring you back in time ;
The last day of school was JC1-2 bonding day. The only positive outcome came in the package of a guy with sweaty palms. I found out on that day, how hopeless my class is, the inactivity and aphathy that stands beyond redemption. How their idea of bonding day consists of gathering round in their little worlds, eating the chips that they bought of 'us'. I say them because, it is them, I can plainly say I'm not like the rest of you. Fine by me if you can too. Also, I am appalled at our lack of people skills, how they cannot lead even a simple game session despite being tagged leaders of whatevers, and how we successfully drove the thirtysixers to tears. (Ok, one thirtysixer) cause of our attitute/selfishness/rudeness (My insider informer did not quite make this clear). Nothing personal against anyone, but yes, we suck, do you not agree? But to qualify myself, they turned out to be cooperative participants at the end, and Sarah showed the beam of positivity that was much needed.
But it ended on a high note thanks to husband-and-wife. Note that simple happy no-brainers can always save the day. And I was impressed by the enthusiasm of the JC1s and class (though I havent quite completely forgotten about the disgust part).
Then then then, ODAC embarked on our second Overseas expedition to Gunung Tapis and the Rainbow waterfalls.
And there aint no mountain high enough!
Preparation went smoothly, and my packed weighed a ton, I credit it to the well stocked first aid kit.
River crossing was super fun with the innocent looking ULTRA slippery rocks that lay on every step waiting to catch you all unaware.
Tracking buddy and me right after crossing the river (and falling into it in my case), all set to take on the 10 hour treck. (:
So the whole new experience of treking for hours on end uphill proved challenging even though me and my buddy has supposedly the lightest bagpacks around (trust me, it wasnt). And being co-campsite IC was trilling, we had no idea where to fit the tents, toilets and kitchen.
Submit treck the next day lasted from 3 am to 12 pm, arent you all proud of me? And though I felt that it was much too objective centered, I think the sense of accomplishment really came through as well. Oh yes, we also rode the clouds and saw the sunrise we've been wanting to see all our lives. ((:
You'll understand someday, when you actually wake at 3am, put on kuku looking headlamps with a goal in mind. (:
We wished that there were 3 pairs just like before.
Lorry rides are amazingly fun. Try it someday, you really should! i have many screaming happy videos to prove it!
Rainbow falls was well worth the 45 minutes climb. And I checked, but someone beat us to the pot of gold at the end.
I would do it a thousand times over, and the freezing, (for emphasize) freezing water did nothing to deter our high. ((:
And! I got my first two leech bites in my life, and didnt scream once! Just how brave is that!? haha, it helped that it didnt hurt at all. OH! but there were thorns ambushing EVERYWHERE and after a while, you'll give up trying to avoid them and resign to the fate that you're gonna have stingging, disfigued legs after all. Now we all have manly looking, itchy legs (sand fly bites)
Plenty of after thoughts about this Overseas Expedition, its goods and not so goods. (The food was misery I tell you!) But i guess most obviously, it has bonded us a notch further, and we've learnt so much like the importance of hiking socks and tracking pants and OFF! I think my teammates and I really do have a long long way to go. (:
We're hitting a pretty rough patch in ODAC now, with some dissent and disatisfaction between certain groups of people, but hopefully, it'll all turn out rosy.
We further impressed ourselves with our spontanality by organizing a BBQ in a few hours flat (almost full turn up), stayover at my place (where I cooked, cleaned and washed) and ambusing Taiyong's place for his birthday.
Now when was it you last had people who truely gave you a surprise on your birthday?
We took his house by storm and demanded to be invited in holding his coffee cake as ransom.
Guess who, guess who!
And that just about brings us back to the present. (:
I feel like I've been here done that, heard all this before and seen this scene somewhere. I have an inkling about where its heading, but not if I can help it.
Its a waste really, when a foul experience stops the risk-taker in you. But you cant really help it can you?
Oftentimes, thinking too much only serves to mess up your mind. Therefore, just dont.
I've always wanted to tell you, but somehow the words dont seem to come out right. I think I'm ready to try again though I'm not completely sure.
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/21/2006 07:44:00 PM
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Sunday, March 19
Wasted StarI'm not blogging, there just isnt enough time.
I'm two quarters and a heart down
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I'll write them
So you need them just to get by Mamihlapinatapei : 3/19/2006 02:53:00 PM
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Friday, March 17
Toenails. tonsils and tornados
All I want now is _____________.
My second choice would be to spend 1 day just lying in bed doing absolutely nothing.
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/17/2006 01:06:00 AM
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I'm unsuited for the rage of war
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/17/2006 12:27:00 AM
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Friday, March 10
Chased away a sleepless night
With a fairytale
Its today! Our very very exciting Gunung Tapis and Rainbow fall expedition. Hip hip hooray! (:
Its gonna be such an awesome day even 2 hours of GP and JC1 bonding cant bring us down!
I fear forgetting. Or do I?
Care about the process, they say. Who will remember you if you dont acheive something? Well, you will. If its good enough for you, it should be for everyone else too (Unless of course you run your poor life on someone else view) Sometimes, it isnt just about meeting your objectives. Sure, its disappointing. But ultimately, you want to be able to look back and see all you've done and realise how far you've come. If you see the world excatly the way you saw it one month ago, you've just wasted one month of your life. (If you've been an ardent fan of my blog, you've heard this before.)
I wonder how is it I have confidence in everyone around me, but not for me.
Yes, there aint no mountain high enough. (: I hope we all have a blast, and we'll sorely miss our missing teammates.
Promise me you'll wait for me
'cause I'll be saving all my love for you
and I'll be home, I'll be home soon.
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/10/2006 12:01:00 PM
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Wednesday, March 8
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry.
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/08/2006 09:52:00 PM
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Tear open my chest,
I'll try not to flinch.
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/08/2006 02:37:00 AM
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Tuesday, March 7
Its funny how things turn around I still like that picture of Jem's lips somehow. hah.
Aieeks. I hate retarded rule-stickers.
Theres GP due tomorrow. I think the marking your own work thing is CRAP (yes, in caps). If I know my work is wrong, why did I do it in the first place. Its confusing, really. That plus I've got about no research to boot. Something tells me I picked the wrong question.
And then theres Lit (both Lits - whee hee!) , history and CCA Carnival. I need a break, someone offer me a kit kat.
I could scream and beg time to pause for just a little while. But that would just be wasting my already limited resource.
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/07/2006 10:19:00 PM
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Mamihlapinatapei : 3/07/2006 12:27:00 AM
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Monday, March 6
You showed me how it feels, to feel the sky within my reach.
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/06/2006 10:41:00 PM
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ai wo, bie zou.
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/06/2006 01:07:00 AM
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Sunday, March 5
I took a shot and didn't even come close.
At trust and love and hope.
Oh my, where did today go?
I'm sorry I fell asleep on your shoulder.
Dar- Bingo, I didnt know. Okay, so I made a hasty generalization. Haha, was the original this bad as well?
Eiz- You could come up with them. Cause I wont be in town! ):
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/05/2006 11:19:00 PM
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I've seen sinking ships go down with more grace than you.So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
There's so many times I've let me down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now that they don't mean a thing
'Cause every place I go I'll think of you
Every song I'll sing I sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring Leaving on a Jetplane - Janis Joplin
I got reminded of this song by rosannes new template, and I love it all over again.
Thats how songs should be, the kind you'll enjoy even after 49 years. I cannot imgine still hearing dont phunk with my heart or I'm Mr Loney after 5 years. Rather, I cannot imagine the horror.
Its another lazy Sunday, in preparation for a really busy week ahead. I cant wait for April, and simultaniously I'm afraid of it. You'll know why soon enough. Oh freak, my angel sitting on my shoulder is too loud for its own good.
I have a great big master plan, I'm naming it operation heads up. Any takers?
Who actually laughs out loud when typing LOL?
I can win, I just have to think I can. (:
POR WANLING. You'd better call me up SOON! OR ELSE.
Harry - Whey, I must emphasize again, I am pretty smart sometimes you know. (: and You know you should be just a little nicer sometimes.
Zoe - Whee hee! What rubbish, all for one and one for all, dont you remember? (: Yes, I'll reply those letters, cause they'll always make me feel so familiar. (:
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/05/2006 01:33:00 PM
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Saturday, March 4
Sing your way home at the end of the day
I think I deserve to have my hair all plucked out. :/
I think flashing coloured mouses (as in the one attached to your computers) and gay boy sceeching dota orders and all those fs and &!^@* and whatever are the most disgusting things you can ever imagine.
I've thought about it for so long, I guess I want a heart of stone, though I'm not entirely sure.
I DONT WANT DONT WANT DONT WANT. But somehow, someday, things just decided to stop going my way. I guess it was about time too. (: Oh well.
Grrrr.
Mark - Did you realize that criteria alone eliminates about 90% of the population? Seeing how I am "one of the top 10% of the cohort to have made it into Anderson Junior College" (Miss Daljit)
Joycelyn - You're welcomed! But its not just a candlelight, its a STRAWBERRY-SENTED candlelight. ((:
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/04/2006 08:15:00 PM
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Friday, March 3
Radio Song Boy
Today was achievement day, but at the end of it, I don't think it meant much.
Glad we got first, though I wont actually attribute it to my running. But I think words of confidence mean quite a lot, even though I claim I dont care what people say anymore. I was convinced my running was "quite lousy" and I was gonna cost the team, but I'm glad I didnt do too bad. And sometimes, the pat on the back would have meant the world.
8 k seems okay surprisingly, I do hope I'm improving, and Zoeraine has astounding mind power! Watch out world! I guess I'm really gonna miss her. (:
I cant wait for next week, (for emphasize) I really cannot wait! (:
Don't you wonder how many things are left unsaid?
I think I just heard the worst excuse I've ever heard in my entire 17 years of existence.
My messaging bill alone has hit an all time high of $79. I think I've been subconsciously sending myself messages cause I honestly cant account for the 1500 messages sent. Anyway, messaging has lost its previous attraction, I don't even reply in CLao classes anymore.
To pick up where Harry left off, I do agree. Angsty teens should be banished from this earth. I guess I may have been one in my weaker moments. (Come on, be honest, don't you feel like crap sometimes?) But I guess its a phrase called growing up and we'll learn to beat those blues, slowly but surely.
This has been long overdue.
Rules-
The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover. Need to mention the sex of their lover. Tag 8 victims and let them know u tagged them. Replies can be given in any way. If tagged the second time, there is no need to post again.
Guys please, manly girls only.
8 points of my perfect lover :
1) be real please
keep away fakers. or users
2) love me for me
and not for whatever warped reason you can think of
3) be matured
but still be able to enjoy powerpuff girls and a stick of cotton candy
4) spontaneous and creative
like harry, I want someone to suggest bringing me for foot reflexlogy and the likes too
5) fit and tanned (not artificially i.e tanning lotion!)
attainable, if he tries hard enough. (unless he is allergic to the sun or heat, but that would been hes not perfect. )
6) must be smarter than me
must must must.
7) innocence
so we can wish on stars and be nice lose the facade - adorable, and not fake-ly so (once again, refer to point one)
8) must naturally not have facial hair
but seeing how this condition has received much protest of being really unfair, I guess shaving daily or permanent removal will surffice.
8 people i tagged:
Nah, the chain has to stop somewhere.
Well, if you fit, sorry, not avaliable, I just wanted to waste some time. (:
Haha, I guess it isnt called the world wide web for nothing. Hello joycelyn, I'm secretly glad you're back! (No, just kidding. (: ) But i didnt mean to sound so egoistic! haha, I didnt mean it that way! You guys were an awesome group even without me! ((: But with helped lah. ((:
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/03/2006 10:08:00 PM
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Wednesday, March 1
Dear (I forgot your name again), It wasnt half as bad as I though it'll be.
I'm not too happy, or even near the elatedness I'm supposed to feel. Yah, so I can do chinese. I'm not being complacent or plain irritating (well, not on purpose anyway) but I just dont feel a thing. What is my problem anyway.
But yes, I hate results, of competions, of relationships, of schoolwork, of anything. Not for me, for others. I wish I was like happy like anyone else, happy when I do well and sad when I dont. But nope, I just have to feel for others as though it affects me, and as though they care.
I'm glad I made you proud of me anyway. ((:
Group Five won! (: I wont attribute it fully to me, but largely. (:
Burning those paper in Pjs, specs and hairband outside my house made my neighbour stare blankly at me for about 2 mins while i tried to pretend it was the most normal thing to be doing in the middle of the night.
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/01/2006 10:45:00 PM
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