Saturday, May 7
After a good 5 hours, I managed to stuff 1 year into 20 bags and 1 guitar. Its slightly
heart wrenching giving away my stuff (my favourite cute
ikea table that I've always wanted but only bought it when I came to hall due to the parental disapproval) or selling them cheaply (my printer went at $20 and I remember how happy I was when my dad first allowed me to buy a printer and it was white to match my Mac then). Its like all the memories and stories behind every article must come to pass. I can't imagine coming back and it just being a place to stay. I just bade
Minli goodnight (she stayed up and waited for me to pack and she means more to me than the entire D block) for what might be the last time, and
theres a ringing sort of sadness
thats rendering this 'empty' room too much to take.
So many people changed my hall life in so many ways, for both better and worse and I don't know if this will be the last time I look out and see the morning light draw on Eusoff, but this familiar sight that has accompanied many of my last minute essays is especially beautiful today.
Its not exactly a kind of sadness (or at least its not a kind of sadness that has nothing to do with you) its more of a reluctance.
Labels: ):, Eusoff
Mamihlapinatapei : 5/07/2011 06:14:00 AM
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Monday, February 28
I'm going to take a shower because a shower is halfway between the world and the bed, maybe paint my nails and maybe let the sadness flood every pore of my body. If not for the fact I left my shuffle at home, maybe I'll run through the night. I'm not exactly sure: its not like there was any thing to be lost, but it feels like even the world I made up inside my head is crumbling; if you get what I mean. Maybe I'll just listen to my favourite song throughout the night and pray for Sylvia's full recovery.
Labels: ):
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/28/2011 11:34:00 PM
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Thursday, February 24
Okay this is kind of an unintentionally very eventful night. So I was feeling crappy and might have burst at the seams in my room so I decided to get out and run to the SRC to wait for Kaihui after her training so that she can watch me cry. As I was kind of late I sprinted there but there was no one at the handball courts, so of course I burst out crying much to the horror of the RH tennis player who was stopped from approaching me by my very evil (and streaming) eye. I went to the track and sat there wallowing in tears and absolutely nothing. Then I took the long walk back only to meet Xiaoxuan as she was leaving Eusoff. But because my eyesight was so bad I thought she was Kaihui so I said "hello what are you doing here" (on hindsight exactly how lame is that) and redissolved into tears (only then did I realize she was in fact Xiaoxuan). Then I had to assure her I was okay (which was not technically a lie since its part PMS I assume) and retreated to my room silently before Minli caught me in my sorry state. And finally Kaihui is coming over from behind, but after all the excitement, I guess I'm okay and a complete crybaby.
Labels: ):
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/24/2011 11:19:00 PM
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Saturday, January 15
To begin today on another depressing note, as if I'm not already completely drained out but the mere thought of it, I just received an email about piecing toward that singled me out about 5 times and this is sincerely getting to me. And really, I don't mind being taunted, but I'm actually scared of my team taunting another.
Labels: ):, dance, Eusoff
Mamihlapinatapei : 1/15/2011 01:59:00 AM
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Friday, December 31
Colour the coast with your smile
Is it that special occasions are no longer as meaningful or that every day can be so special (without the crowds) that special occasions are no longer special? I guess I'm celebrating the end of what will always be remembered as the year of the cyst by staying in with my bolster, a can of coke, season 2 of my all time favourite series (sex and the city) and sense of happy neutralism.
Gone are the days of double/triple booking places to be and people to meet on special occasions, and this has been the most social reclusive year of my life and I don't foresee any changes in the near future. Is it the lack of faith in people or the increasing sense of independence?
This time last year I was alone (ironically I was in the cheapest mixed room for room of 8) in Green
tortoise hostel, Seattle. This time this year I am still alone (still on a bed) and still feeling like the year that just passed left so much unanswered and the year that is to come will holds so much promises.
In 2011, I will try not to fall in love (in whatever sense) with anyone who thinks I'm ordinary.
Irrationally enough, I miss you and I wish we spoke the same language. This is the last thing I want to say on my blog this year because maybe (hopefully?) this time next year I will look at it and remember everything worth remembering together with everything thats not.
Labels: (:, ):, random, stargazing
Mamihlapinatapei : 12/31/2010 10:01:00 PM
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Monday, December 20
I love Yap Qiuhong (please say thank you so I can say valcome).
Aside from Crazy Christmas with her and a very happy phone call I also had a great day food hunting across more than 5 mrt stops.
But 15 min on the sidelines seem, well more like 45mins. And every time my wrist winces, this snowball of irritation within me grows.
Some people would but they couldn't and some could but they wouldn't.
Labels: ):, love you, rugby
Mamihlapinatapei : 12/20/2010 12:44:00 AM
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Friday, December 17
I had fun at Scooby vs KR soccer friendly then sparring session against 'SRC' during training yesterday but I must say the wound that burst open staining great portion of my shirt is freaking annoying because firstly it hurts (more that I care to share already) and secondly I don't think I should be training very much now for awhile (I guess maybe NUH werent kidding when they said 1 mth for full recovery) and most importantly, now I cannot lie on my tummy and watch dramas on my mac.
Sorry, I tried but I guess theres no way I can whine about this in an effective manner that wont make me sound like a baby/ act poor thing/ ays.
Oh but got to play against and with Phin and she still is too funny one of my favourite people I don't know (:
Labels: (:, ):, rugby
Mamihlapinatapei : 12/17/2010 12:56:00 AM
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Saturday, November 27
Annoyed (not as much as I should be) because I lost both envelopes containing my Rugby and Handball club funds and before anyone belonging in those two groups start giving me the look I will make it up from my already non-existant bank account. But the point is thats really kindda scary because I'm 90% sure I haven brought those envelopes out (and even so the penalty pot placed with those envelopes have reduced in riches also) and I am semi creeped out and freaking annoyed because now I have to constantly ensure my room is properly barricaded and stuff. And having to bring my key to the bathroom is just
the worst. I am really money trouble on legs and its not comforting to remember that I just maxed out my shopping account (okay, actually I went way overboard).
That said, IF someone really did take my money, at least you left everything else for me.
Let me know when they find a cure for ridiculous carelessness.
Labels: ):, money
Mamihlapinatapei : 11/27/2010 01:11:00 AM
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Thursday, September 23
不想拥有太多情绪
Not the song I'm listening to, but totally the words I'm looking for.
And the weird thing is I actually want to take my nighty run because its so therapeutic but tonight I dont have enough socks. Okay the truth is I'm truly worn.
Labels: ):
Mamihlapinatapei : 9/23/2010 11:10:00 PM
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Saturday, June 26
Been in a state of generic unhappiness these few days.
But maybe this all makes sad sense.
Labels: ):
Mamihlapinatapei : 6/26/2010 03:47:00 AM
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Thursday, June 3
I can't always be fasinated by your presence.
Labels: ):
Mamihlapinatapei : 6/03/2010 06:37:00 PM
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Monday, May 24
I wish I was 5 again. Because then the only thing that might stopping me from clearly expressing my thoughts and wants would be my vocabulary. But at 22, I dont even know what I'm thinking, much less articulate it with no pretense, pride or deceit.
Labels: ):
Mamihlapinatapei : 5/24/2010 04:21:00 PM
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Because one of the worst feelings in the world is having to doubt something you once thought was unquestionable.
Labels: ):
Mamihlapinatapei : 5/24/2010 04:18:00 PM
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Sunday, March 21
All this packing is truly ruining my exchange experience and making me unable to feel sad about this whole leaving. Too busy feeling sad about having to pay US$350 for excess baggage charges and STILL have to wear my winter jacket on the plane. ):
Labels: ):, exchange
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/21/2010 09:07:00 PM
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Thursday, March 18
Whats it about the brain that allows it to contain so many things it doesn't understand?
Labels: ):
Mamihlapinatapei : 3/18/2010 03:16:00 AM
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Sunday, February 28
Cannot cannot CANNOT wait to get back on the rugby field/handball court!!!!
Labels: (:, ):
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/28/2010 04:30:00 PM
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Wednesday, February 24
touch~camelbak-hydrate or die
PM 06:00goody
PM 06:00im awaiting ur return
PM 06:0148 more days
SO SWEET! Can barely believe its 48 more days to my sunny island. But don't want to imagine to look of Vincent's face if we tell him we have to go.
Labels: (:, ):
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/24/2010 06:28:00 PM
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怎麽忍心怪你犯了错
是我给你自由过了火If the statistics presented in class are anything to go by, by the time you are a senior in an American college (age 22) 1 in 4 would still be a love virgin (having not experienced love ever) but only 1 in 20 will be a sex virgin.
I need to be a more productive essay writer. And stop falling into the Mandopop of the 1960s.
是否对你承诺了太多
还是我原本给的就不够
你始终有千万种理由
我一直都跟随你的感受
Labels: ):, exchange
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/24/2010 04:36:00 AM
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Tuesday, February 23
I sometimes wonder if naiveness is my cover up for silliness, carelessness or pure stupidity.
Labels: ):
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/23/2010 08:47:00 PM
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总在 埋怨过你的冷漠
之后 又急着说抱歉
仿佛 向疏远的你
乞求一点体贴
都是我不对
Labels: ):
Mamihlapinatapei : 2/23/2010 02:55:00 PM
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This time last year I was alone (ironically I was in the cheapest mixed room for room of 8) in Green tortoise hostel, Seattle. This time this year I am still alone (still on a bed) and still feeling like the year that just passed left so much unanswered and the year that is to come will holds so much promises. 